The Sound of Morning Beginning
Pffft~~~
It's not the sound of a trumpet.
It's the sound of my husband, who sleeps in another room, passing gas when he wakes up.
If it were on the musical scale, it would probably be an F.
Sigh. Never mind that, I have to get ready quickly.
A working mom's morning is busy.
Brush my teeth, wash my face, squeeze out the last of the foundation and apply it thinly, draw my eyebrows, comb my hair, and done... A colorless face.
I reach for an eyeshadow I don't remember buying, but decide against it. Getting ready before the little monster wakes up is more important than anything else.
Today, too, a grueling day begins.
First, the grand project of leaving the house.
I list the tasks I need to do in my head and organize them... Oh, you're spilling the milk right now? Plan change!
Work break time.
Coffee that I can drink without anyone bothering me is delicious. Even if it's a bit unsatisfying.
Oh no, I took too long. What time is it now?
A photo of my child appears on my phone's home screen. Yeah, my child is definitely the cutest! ...I'm starting to miss them.
After picking them up from daycare and getting home, it's a battle to see how quickly I can get them to sleep. I have dramas I want to catch up on, and I'm going to make time for myself today!
That enthusiasm is nothing but an illusion, and I fall asleep with the child until morning.
Pffft~~~
One day,
I came home with divorce papers.
It wasn't because of any one big thing in particular.
It was just,
Thinking about how to make delicious meals with lots of vegetables,
Cleaning the drain little by little so they could have a pleasant bath,
And airing out everyone's futons on the occasional weekday I took off.
I was all alone, by myself.
I felt empty.
The divorce papers
felt surprisingly light,
yet they were a bit heavy and cold to the touch.
I met my husband
at my part-time job during the spring I started university.
It was love at first sight for me. Or rather, love at first sound?
When I called to say, "I look forward to working with you starting tomorrow," the person who answered was my husband, who was working there as a full-time employee.
He gambled, drank, and smoked a lot, and he barely ever replied to my emails.
But,
just being together was enough for me.
I wonder what kind of face he will make when I hand him these papers.
If I'm going to do this,
I might as well enjoy myself before there's no turning back.
The last summer festival
The last sports day
The last Christmas
The last birthday
The last wedding anniversary
The last cherry blossom viewing
Five years have passed without me handing over the paper.
Pwaaaa~~~
……Is it morning?