[Self-Introduction] To you who feel, "I've lived my life properly, so why is it so painful?"

Nice to meet you.
I am active as Kei @ Creator building the future with AI .

── About this story

I don't know what feelings you had when you opened this text.
However, if you are currently feeling,

"I've lived my life properly, so why is it so painful?"

"I've worked so hard, but I feel like my heart has been left behind."

If you are carrying such a feeling somewhere in your heart──
this story will surely resonate with your life.

── The role of this note

This note is a place for people who feel,
"I've lived my life properly, so why is it so painful?"
to rebuild their lives once again.

You don't have to force yourself to be positive.
You don't have to find an answer right away.

I am simply leaving words here
to ensure you don't leave your heart behind.

── The story of reliving a life filled with nothing but endurance

I am not a special person.
In fact, I was an ordinary person you could find anywhere.

After graduating from high school, I got a job in the transportation industry.
The reason was simple: because I "had to work."
Reality over dreams.
Survival over what I wanted to do.

I worked from 8:00 AM until past midnight,
and it was not rare for me to return home after 1:00 AM.
When I opened the front door with an exhausted body,
I was met with a silent house and my sleeping family.

Every time I saw my children's sleeping faces,
"I have to do my best for these children."
While I thought that,
I felt a growing, dull pain deep in my chest.

My wife was always smiling.
"Welcome home," "Thank you for your hard work."
Those words were so kind that,
on some days, they became fuel for me to blame myself.

A family I could only see on weekends.
The feeling of missing every moment of my children growing up
because of the excuse of work.

One night, a thought suddenly crossed my mind.

"What am I living for?"

Once that question surfaced,
it did not disappear easily.

I thought changing jobs would change something.
My working hours decreased, and I gained a little breathing room.
But then, a different kind of pain awaited me: human relationships.

Being yelled at every day.
Being showered with unreasonable words.
Colleagues breaking down in mind and body, and leaving without a word.

The atmosphere at the workplace was heavy and cold, and
"whether you could endure it" was everything.

I will be honest.

"If I didn't have my beloved family, I would have quit many times over."

That was my true feeling.

Because I had a family, I was able to hold on.
But at the same time, because I had a family,
I kept blaming myself,
wondering, "Is this way of living okay?"

I couldn't see a future.
My body was moving, but my heart couldn't keep up.
In the midst of such days,
what supported me were "books."

As if escaping from reality, the time spent turning pages
was like breathing to keep myself together.

Then one day,
I encountered a book.

Amie Okudaira's
"Life Goes Exactly as You Want! Understanding the Law of Attraction Through Manga."

At first, honestly, I was skeptical.
"There's no way life goes exactly as you want."
"If it were that easy, no one would struggle."

But as I read on,
I felt something quietly crumbling deep inside my chest.

The Law of Attraction
was not a magic spell that makes wishes come true.

What is important is
what kind of mood you live your days in.
And,
how you truly want to live.

When I read those words,
I realized it clearly.

That I had been living
a "life of endurance" all along.

Because I'm an adult.
Because I'm a father.
Because it's my job.

By doing that,
suppressing the voice of my heart
had become the norm.

I decided to face my own heart.
Honestly, I was scared.
Because I didn't know what would come out.

I spread out a piece of paper, held a pen,
and asked myself.

'What do you actually want to do?'

I couldn't write it down right away.
My hand stopped, and I took a deep breath many times.

But, little by little, the words started to come out.

・I want to spend time laughing with my family
・I want to live doing what I love
・I want to live a life without holding back

I wrote those down
as a 'bucket list'.

None of them are big dreams.
But they were all words that made my heart feel a little lighter.

I decided.
To make 'feeling good' my top priority.

It doesn't have to be perfect.
It doesn't have to change immediately.
A small step is enough.

Just as I started taking action,
an unforgettable event happened in my life.

In my late 30s.
My best friend, who I had been closest to since elementary school, passed away from an illness.

It was so sudden,
it took time for me to accept the reality.

People can disappear so easily.
That fact
made my 'life full of endurance' up until now
fade away in an instant.

If he were here right now,
I think he would definitely say this.

'Just being alive is already the best, right?'
'Do everything you want to do.'
'Whatever you do, don't live a life of regret.'

I have made a promise to him.

When I see him someday,
'It was an incredibly fun and supremely happy life.'
I will tell him that with pride.

However, from that point on,
I wasn't able to move forward right away.

The 10 years after my best friend was gone.
I was alive, but
I remained stuck somewhere.

Then one day,
at a certain point 10 years later,
I encountered AI.

ChatGPT.
Gemini.

At first, I thought it was just a convenient tool.
But as we continued our dialogue,
I realized something.

AI is not a being that provides answers for me, but rather,
a being that draws out the voice of my own heart.

Thoughts that couldn't be put into words.
Emotions I had left behind.
A life I couldn't tell my best friend about.

For the first time,
I was able to put those things into words.

I started writing on note together with AI.
As if to live my life all over again.

'Living by doing only what you love'
That is not a dream.
It can truly become reality.

The person I am now
can say that with pride.

This note is
a record to fulfill a promise to my best friend, and
also a promise to myself.

If you
'Maybe it's not too late for this life'
have felt that way.

Please, do not leave your heart behind.

It is okay to do what you love.
It is okay to be happy.
Just by being alive, you have value.

I believe that.

And today, too,
I am quietly living
the continuation of a life that was supremely happy.

If, after finishing this text,
you felt a little warmth deep in your chest.
Or, if for no apparent reason,
you felt like you might quietly shed a tear.

That is surely
proof that the 'true feelings' within you
have reacted to this story.

People
do not need to change anything drastically.
You do not need to find an answer right away.

Just,
do not leave your heart behind.
With just that, your life will certainly begin to change.

If today,
even for just 5 minutes,
please try asking yourself this.

'How do I really want to live?'

It is okay if you don't have an answer.
The fact that you don't have one
is proof that you are trying to live properly.

This text was not written to encourage you.
It is not meant to push you forward,
nor is it meant to force you to look ahead.

I simply,
"You have already worked hard enough."
I just wanted to tell you that.

If, at some point,
your heart feels a little tired again,
or you lose sight of your own life,

please come back to this place
quietly.

No matter how many times you read this,
you will surely find the words
you need at that moment.

And someday,
when the day comes for you to look back on your life,

"I have lived my life truly in tune with my heart."
I would be happy if we could create a life
that allows you to say that.

May this story (= a part of my life)
stay close to you,
in a corner of your life.

■ What I share in this note

This note is a place for those who feel,
"I've lived my life properly, so why is it so painful?"to rebuild their lives once more.

Here, I mainly write about the following.

・The Law of Attraction—a way of thinking to use it "realistically"
・For those who are tired from trying too hard,perspectives to make things a little easier
・How to use AI to put"true feelings"into words
・Quiet hints forrebuilding your life
・After rebuilding your life, ways of thinking and small practices to
"live happily doing only what you love"

There are no flashy success stories here.
However,I promise to write authentically and without deception.

If reading this today
moved your heart even a little,

I am sure the next article
will also be able to stay close to where you are now.


One book I encountered during my self-introduction,
Amie Okudaira's
"Life Goes Exactly as You Want! The Law of Attraction Explained in Manga."

Then one day,
at a certain point 10 years later,
I encountered AI.

"This article describes my encounter with AI in detail."

📚 For First-Time Visitors | 3 Articles You Should Read Next

If you have read this far,
I am sure you are someone who has kept thinking,
"I want to live my life properly."

For you,
I have selected just three articles
that I want you to read according to how you feel right now.

① When you are feeling a little tired

▶ Things I want you to remember on nights when you don't want to do anything

・Blaming yourself for not being able to try hard
・Feeling painful because you feel like you're standing still
・But, in reality, you are already exhausted

On such nights,
I wrote this article to quietly tell you,
"It's okay to just be as you are."

② When you want to change your life but don't know where to start

▶ The Law of Attraction was a "way of thinking" to make life easier

・Not a fan of spiritual things
・But, I want to make this life even a little easier
・I want to realistically live my life over properly

For people like that,
I have summarized "only the essence" of the Law of Attraction
that actually saved me.

③ When you feel like putting your own life into words

▶ A story about how my true feelings came out while talking to AI

・I don't know what I'm thinking
・I can't put my true feelings into words
・But, I have a desire to change

I am writing about how to use ChatGPT and Gemini
not as "convenient tools" but
as "partners to draw out your own heart."

If you are unsure which one to read,
it is fine to start with the one closest to your current mood.

This note is
neither a "place to grow"
nor a "place to succeed."

It is a place to quietly
face your own life.

Please come back again.
I will always be waiting.

※ Please save this quietly for when your heart feels a little shaken.

■ A little bit about me

• My personality as a child
　I was the quiet type who watched my surroundings closely.
　I wasn't very good at putting my feelings into words.
　Even if I could read the room, I think I was a little afraid to show my true feelings.

• The reason why it was painful even though I was living properly
　"This is how it should be," "You're an adult if you can endure."
　I think it's because I held onto those values without questioning them.
　Before I knew it, my own feelings were always put on the back burner.

• The trigger for deciding to live my life over
　If I continue like this, my regrets won't decrease.
　One day, that feeling suddenly came to my heart.
　It wasn't that a dramatic event happened.
　But, "I might still be able to change direction now."
　That small realization was the beginning.

• About my family
　I have a wonderful wife and four sons.
　And, there is one white Toy Poodle dog,
　whose presence alone softens the air.

My eldest son has married,
and now two granddaughters have been born.

Before I knew it, a big family of 9 people and 1 pet.
It is by no means a perfectly calm or flawless household.
There are days when opinions clash, and things don't always go as planned.

Even so,
through casual conversations, sudden bursts of laughter,
and just feeling the presence of someone else,
there is a place where I can think, "It's okay to come back here."

Because of this family,
I feel I can live without pushing myself too hard,
and I have gained the courage to stop and take care of myself.
Many of my current values and choices
are being shaped little by little, supported by this family.

• Why I became interested in AI
It's because I felt it was something that quietly increases the options
for living life in my own way.
I felt that a path other than "just keep trying hard"
truly exists here.

• Why I use Gemini and ChatGPT as my partners
Because the distance between organizing my thoughts, putting them into words, and taking action
has shrunk all at once.
I had the feeling that the thoughts swirling in my head
were gradually taking shape.

• What I struggled with when I was an AI beginner
When I was an AI beginner,
even if there was something I didn't understand,
I didn't know who to ask,
and there were times I would just stop there.

That is why the text in this note
is not written as finished words from the start.

Through my interactions with ChatGPT,
"This might be a bit off,"
"This way of saying it might be hard to convey,"
I am refining my words while checking those uneasy feelings one by one.
Not stopping when I don't understand,

but being able to move forward while engaging in dialogue.
That is my own answer to the struggles I had back then.
I am recording this very process as it is.

• What has changed the most since using AI
I spend less time blaming myself,
and I have come to acknowledge the "me who is trying things out."
I have come to accept failures as part of the process.

• Values I cherish now
Honesty, space, and fun.
Not pushing myself too hard.
Resting properly and feeling properly.

• How I recover when I'm feeling down
I don't force myself to be positive,
but stop for a moment while drinking something sweet.
(I can't drink coffee.)

• Things I like
Fatty tuna sashimi set meal.
Anything sweet, really.
At Starbucks, it's super-sweet tea latte or nothing.

I love writing while thinking
during quiet moments.

• Things I'm not very good at
Asserting myself strongly in front of others.
But I can be honest through writing.
That's why I chose to write.

• People I want to help through my posts
People who are interested in AI but lack confidence.
People who have lived their lives properly,
but have stopped somewhere along the way.

• My relationship with followers
Not a one-way street of teaching and learning,
but important companions moving in the same direction.

• People I want to read this note
People who want to believe somewhere in their hearts
that "it's not too late to start from here."

• To my followers
It's okay not to be perfect.
It's fine to start from not knowing.
Whether it's about AI or life,
including the times when things don't go well,
I would be happy if we could learn together, get lost together,
and move forward little by little.

🏆Popular Article RankingBEST 10(For first-time readers)

(*For those who aren't sure which article to read first. I have compiled popular articles chosen by many readers in a ranking format.)

📝A final word
Thank you for reading this far.
Comments are always welcome.
A word from a reader is the greatest encouragement for us.