Why does the brain show us unpleasant dreams we don't want to remember?

I think everyone has experienced this at least once.

An embarrassing failure from the past.

A dark history you don't even want to recall.

An incident involving someone you dislike.

A past you thought you had already forgotten.

Sometimes such things suddenly appear in your dreams, leaving you feeling bad even after you wake up.

"If I want to forget, why does my brain go out of its way to make me remember?"

Many people wonder this. However, current research suggests that the brain does not show you unpleasant dreams to make you suffer.

The brain does not create dreams as entertainment

First, it is important to understand that dreams are not entertainment like movies. The brain remains active even while humans are asleep. Especially during REM sleep, it is believed that memories and emotions are being actively processed. In that process, various memories are recalled. The problem is that the brain does not necessarily decide at that time,

"This is a memory I don't want to remember, so I will exclude it."

What is important to the brain is not

"whether it is pleasant or unpleasant"

but rather

"whether it is relevant."

That is why.

Memories accompanied by strong emotions are more easily recalled

The brain prioritizes storing events that had strong emotions attached to them. For example,

• a major failure

• intense shame

• A romantic breakup

• Bullying

• A fight

• A terrifying experience

and so on. This is for survival. Since ancient times, humans who remembered dangerous events were more likely to survive than those who forgot them. For this reason, the brain sometimes stores memories of embarrassment or fear more strongly than memories of fun times. These are then recalled during the sorting process while we sleep.

The more you try to forget, the more they appear

There is an interesting phenomenon. Humans,

the more they think,

"Don't think about it"

the more they end up thinking about it.

For example,

"Please do not think about a white bear"

when told this, many people will conversely imagine a white bear. This is a well-known phenomenon in psychology.

Unpleasant memories are the same.

Let's forget it.

Let's try not to think about it.

Let's seal it away.

The more you think this, the more your brain continues to monitor that memory. As a result, it may appear in your dreams.

Dreams might be emotion simulators

Some researchers believe that dreams may have a role in practicing emotions. For example, a dream of being chased.

Dreams of failure.

Dreams of being scolded.

These kinds of dreams are unpleasant. However, from the brain's perspective, it may be simulating responses to danger or failure. In other words,

not to "torment you"

but rather,

to "prepare you"

is the way to think about it.

The brain does not fully distinguish between reality and dreams

In dreams, events from ten years ago and events from yesterday can get mixed up.

Strangers and acquaintances can also merge.

Places and eras can become chaotic.

This is thought to be because the brain is organizing fragments of memory,

rather than creating a narrative.

In that process, unpleasant memories you thought you had forgotten may accidentally surface.

Sometimes it is a memory that has not truly been processed

If unpleasant dreams recur, it is possible that the brain has not yet finished processing that event. For example,

Regret.

Guilt.

Anger.

Lingering attachment.

Fear.

When these emotions remain, they can be replayed over and over in dreams. It can be said that the brain is in a state close to judging that,

"This information is still pending."

as it were.

Unpleasant dreams are not necessarily your true feelings

Some people who have unpleasant dreams feel anxious, wondering,

"Is that what I really think?"

However, dreams are a very messy form of information processing. For example,

dreaming of getting along with someone you dislike,

dreaming of committing a crime,

or dreaming of acting unreasonably.

Even if you have such dreams, they are not necessarily your own desires. In many cases, the brain is simply combining various memories and emotions.

Conclusion

The reason the brain shows you unpleasant dreams you don't want to remember is not because it wants to make you suffer. The brain organizes memories and emotions during sleep, and in the process, memories with strong emotions are recalled. Events involving shame, fear, or regret, in particular, are easy to remember, so they are more likely to appear in dreams.

Also, the more you try to forget a memory, the more the brain continues to monitor it, which can conversely cause it to appear in your dreams. In other words, it is highly likely that unpleasant dreams are not the brain being mean, but rather a side effect of the process of organizing memories and emotions.

That question is very reasonable. In fact, many people have had the experience of:

"They say it's for organizing, but I feel terrible after seeing them."

"It dug up unpleasant memories I was starting to forget."

"It ruins my whole day."

From the person's perspective, it looks like:

"I am suffering more because of the brain's organizing process."

In that sense,

"Isn't this counterproductive?"

is a natural feeling.

The brain does not prioritize happiness above all else

First, it is important to note that the brain's purpose is not necessarily to "live feeling good." Evolutionarily, the brain prioritizes survival and adaptation. In extreme terms, if remembering danger helps one survive better, even if it makes one feel bad, the brain will choose that. For example:

The experience of touching a hot pot and getting burned.

The experience of having a scary encounter in a dangerous place.

The experience of making a huge mistake in front of others.

These are unpleasant.

However, it is precisely because they are unpleasant that they are hard to forget. The brain has long utilized this mechanism.

It might be within the range of 'a little pain' for the brain

There is another issue. The brain may not treat the pain caused by dreams as seriously as humans feel it. For example, when you do strength training, you get muscle soreness. However, the body does not think:

"Because there is muscle soreness, this is a failure."

Rather, it processes it as part of the adaptation process. Similarly, with dreams, the brain may simply be performing processing that involves unpleasant emotions without considering how much the person dislikes it.

Organization is not always successful

More importantly, there is no evidence that dreams always function well. In this world,

there are people who have the same nightmare for years.

There are also people who dream about traumatic experiences over and over again.

If dreams were a perfect organizational tool, such phenomena would be difficult to explain. In other words, one could view it as the brain attempting to organize, but not necessarily succeeding.

Evolution is a product of compromise, not optimization

Humans tend to think,

"The brain is rationally designed."

However, evolution is not a designer. It has simply accumulated makeshift improvements over millions of years. Therefore,

• prone to lower back pain

• prone to tooth decay

• prone to feeling anxious

• prone to carrying trauma

and many other inefficient aspects exist. Dreams are the same. They are not a perfect system. In some cases, they can even harm the individual.

From a human perspective, it certainly seems counterproductive

From the person's point of view, they are reminded of a dark past they were starting to forget.

They feel unpleasant.

They feel depressed from the morning.

It affects their work and daily life.

In this way,

"It's not organizing, it's re-attacking"

It is natural to think this. In fact, from a human subjective perspective, there are many cases that feel counterproductive.

That is why there is another way of thinking in recent years

Recent research suggests that while dreams may have some function, they are not necessarily always beneficial. In other words, dreams may be a byproduct of brain activity, containing a mix of meaningful and meaningless processing. With this perspective,

"Why do we suffer from unpleasant dreams?"

This question can also be explained. It is because the brain is not acting as a competent counselor, but rather failures and side effects are occurring during the sorting process.

Conclusion

The question, "If unpleasant dreams damage the mind, isn't that counterproductive?" has not just a grain of truth, but is quite compelling. Because the brain works for survival and adaptation rather than to make humans happy, it sometimes recalls unpleasant memories. Also, there is no evidence that emotional processing through dreams is always successful. Therefore, in our current understanding,

"The brain is trying to organize, but in the process, it can also hurt the person"

or

"Dreams themselves do not have much of a purpose, and pain can arise as a side effect of the sorting process"

might be closer to the reality. At the very least, it is a natural reaction for someone hurt by an unpleasant dream to feel that "this is counterproductive."

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AI-generated, for reference only.