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The Story of a Female Designer Who Broke Out of the 'Great Work, But No Deal' Cycle

2026年6月11日 08:56

My proposals are good, but for some reason, I just can't close the deal.

The other day, a female web designer came to me with this concern. She has both technical skill and a great sense of design, and the quality of her work is truly high. Yet, whenever she submits a quote, the process stops at 'we'll consider it.' She had been blaming herself, wondering if her prices were too high or if she lacked enough of a track record.

However, as I listened to her story, it became clear that the cause was neither her price nor her track record. Today, I would like to share the realization I had then, along with some of my own past failures. I am sure there are others who will think, 'I understand, I might be the same way.'

The sense of unease when a 'good proposal' doesn't lead to a deal

When I looked at her proposal, the writing was very polite, logical, and thorough. The design intent, the delivery date, and the breakdown of fees were all clearly written. From a standard perspective, it was a 'good proposal.'

But when I read it, I felt an indescribable sense of unease. I couldn't quite put it into words, but it felt like, 'This is correct, but it doesn't feel personal.'

Actually, when I first started out as a freelancer, I was doing the exact same thing. In my attempt to write a good proposal, I used industry jargon and the polished expressions I had learned. Looking back, I think that wasn't a 'proposal to the client,' but rather an 'explanation of my own competence.'

Treasures were sleeping in the interview notes

So, I asked to see the interview notes from when she first spoke with the client. And there, I found many words that were like hidden treasures.

For example, the client had said things like: 'My current website just doesn't feel like my shop,' 'I want customers to think, "This is a proper shop," and 'Honestly, I'm not good with computers, so I'm scared to update it.'

However, not a single one of these raw, authentic words remained in the proposal. Instead, they had been neatly translated into terms like 'optimization of brand image,' 'highly reliable UI design,' and 'reduction of operational burden.' The meaning is the same, but the temperature is completely different, isn't it?

Just borrowing the client's own words

I told her only one thing: 'Please write the words the client used exactly as they are in your proposal.'

When people are spoken to using the words they themselves use, they feel, 'Oh, this person really understands me.' Conversely, no matter how correct the explanation is, if it is explained in words they don't know, their hearts will quickly drift away.

Specifically, I had her change things like this:

'Optimization of brand image' → 'I will change it from "doesn't feel like my shop" to "this is exactly my shop"'
'Highly reliable UI design' → 'I will create a design that makes first-time visitors feel, "This is a proper shop"'
'Reduction of operational burden' → 'I will create a system that you can update without fear, even if you aren't good with computers'
Include the client's own words of concern at the beginning of the proposal, just as they said them

What you need to do is not add something new. You just need to pick up the words the client has already spoken and return them as they are.

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Once rewritten, the response was an immediate 'Yes, please.'

A few days later, I received a somewhat excited message from her. She had taken her rewritten proposal to a meeting with another prospective client.

She had included, in the very first line of the proposal, the exact words the client had let slip during their previous conversation: 'Every time I look at my current site, I feel a bit embarrassed.' Apparently, the moment the client read that, they looked up and said:

'This... this is what I said, isn't it? I feel like you really understand me.'

From that point on, she said the deal was closed with a 'Yes, please' without having to explain the pricing at all. She laughed, saying, 'Until now, I was only thinking about dressing things up with my own words.' The content had always been good. It was just the entry point of how she communicated it that was different.

Why 'your own words' don't resonate

I believe there is a somewhat bittersweet truth here. The more we try to be experts, the more we tend to use 'proper language.' We don't want to look like amateurs; we want to appear professional. I understand that feeling all too well.

However, what clients are truly looking for is not 'correctness,' but the 'feeling of being understood.' Difficult language can sometimes become a wall. Gentle language—the client's own words—becomes a bridge.

This is not limited to designers. It is exactly the same for counselors, instructors, and handmade artists. The answers are already all there within the client's own words. Whether or not we can pick them up without missing them—that might really be all there is to it.

Summary for today

Finally, let me summarize today's discussion.

Proposals failing to close is often not about price or track record, but the 'entry point of communication'
Words that resonate are already lying dormant in your client interview notes
Do not translate into technical jargon; return the words the client used directly in the proposal
Just by putting one line about their struggle at the beginning of the proposal, the reaction changes significantly
What clients are looking for is not 'correctness,' but the 'feeling of being understood'

If you are currently feeling frustrated, thinking, 'I'm confident in my content, but for some reason, I'm not being chosen,' it is not because you lack value. I am sure that by just slightly changing the entry point of your communication, your message will get through properly. Because your quality is already there.