I have always admired those who can express themselves.

Piano—how wonderful it must feel to be able to play it as your emotions dictate.

Dance—how cool are those who can express the passion within them through dance.

Musical actors, stage actors—they must have an incredibly high 'glad I was born as me' index.

Novelists, painters, manga artists, lyricists, composers—how happy they must be to be able to express themselves through their work and leave it for future generations.

I feel like I've spent decades living while thinking things like this.

I probably won't become a 'something-ist' in the future either.
Maybe at best, a 'confident person'? Haha.

However, I now realize that I am fulfilled by expressing myself through words here on note.

There are people who 'respond,' and that is more encouraging than anything else.
Likes, comments, article shares.

Perhaps 'being able to express' means 'being able to connect with someone.'

Even if the expression is clumsy, there are people who can feel something from it.
There are people who feel a sense of familiarity with that immaturity.
That makes me think it's okay to express myself just as I am.

I see.
Maybe I've always admired those who can express themselves because I crave connecting with someone at heart.

If so, I want to go one step further.
I don't want to leave expressing myself as just a dream.
I want to be able to help someone and make a living by expressing myself.

In my case, this is definitely it.

I want to put the standout charm of others into words and promote them to the world.

I want to do this more than anything.

Honestly, I want to compete using only the tool of words, but
perhaps I might create something by combining them with images or videos... soAdobe Creative Cloud—I haven't been able to cancel my subscription.
Even though it was a promotional price for the first year, it went up to the regular price in the second year.

Moreover, the only thing I used for work last year was almost exclusively the video editing software Premiere Pro.
Ugh, what a waste... I feel it even more since I have no income right now.
But for now, I will explore the possibility of using tools that might broaden the scope of my expression.

The dream of becoming 'someone who can express' the charm of others.
40 years old. I feel like I'm finally finding what I've been searching for for so long.