Writing for Myself Brought Back My Lost Emotions

Last time, I talked at length about the background of why I started Twitter and note.

How did I, who had lost my emotions due to childcare, manage to get them back? This time, I'll talk about that.

Encountering the "Habit of Writing"

The important book that became the catalyst for me to regain my emotions is a book called "The Habit of Writing".

I found this book by chance at a bookstore I happened to stop by, in the business book section I happened to wander into.

Attracted by the words on the cover, "The most important writing skills to change yourself and your life" and "Tips for writing enjoyably", I decided to buy it on the spot.

Business books somehow feel like lumps of enthusiasm and motivation, and I had been avoiding them since I went into energy-saving mode, but this book had gentle illustrations on the cover, so I had no resistance to it at all.

From that night on, I read it little by little after putting my son to sleep.
Then, even before I had finished reading it to the end, my desire to write surged, and I started Twitter right away.

I already had an account, but I wasn't following anyone.
I gathered my courage and decided to follow Yuki Ishikawa, the author of this book.
Then, I realized that there were many people who were reading the same book as me and continuing to write.
(Yupi-san likes tons of posts with the "Habit of Writing" tag!!)

I was so excited that night that I couldn't fall asleep!
I wonder how long it's been since I felt this excited!

In that state, even though I hadn't finished reading the book yet, I decided to write a review on note.
Here it is. You can really tell that I am finding hope in this book.

Writing felt very comfortable

Posting my thoughts on Twitter and note wasn't difficult, and I was able to write more and more.
And it felt very refreshing.
Now I think that I must have had so many thoughts and ideas inside me all along.

It's not that you absolutely have to "write" to regain your emotions.
I think "talking" to someone is enough.
Just writing in a notebook might be enough to regain your heart.

By the way, the other day, Yupi-san also wrote an article like this.

The timing of when you change comes from unexpected places

Some of you may have noticed...

If anything, I didn't regain my emotions gradually.
It feels like I read "The Habit of Writing," started Twitter, felt an incredibly exciting emotion, and that triggered a flood of various emotions.

If anything, something might have changed within me from the moment I picked up "The Habit of Writing" at the bookstore.

However, I think this is like a miracle born from the overlapping of several conditions.

My son turned 1 year and 5 months old, finally went from crawling to walking, and I had more room in my childcare.
I had an opportunity to talk to my boss at work, wanted to improve some skills, and went to the business book section of the bookstore.
My family caught that virus, we had a period where we couldn't leave the house for a while, and I wanted to do something new and refreshing.

It feels like a miracle, but I think I encountered a good book at the right time.
(Thinking about it, it makes me want to read various other books too)

If you ever have even a little bit of time for yourself, just try writing down what you're thinking.

Child-rearing is truly difficult.

Even when people tell you, "There will be a time when it gets easier," you can't believe it, and you think that if it's not easy now, it doesn't mean anything.
In a lonely, painful, and closed-off space where you can't see what lies ahead, you cannot honestly accept positive words.
I don't think that's the mother's fault; I think it's just because child-rearing is that hard.

When you overcome that pain, you might realize you've become like a robot with no emotions.
It might be a shock when you realize it, but you can start from there.
Please listen to the voice of your heart and let it out.
And when you have recovered enough to look back on your past self, please first offer your past self some comfort. Tell her, "You did your best."

That is the end of my story about losing and regaining my emotions.
I think there will continue to be difficult and painful times,
but I will try not to forget that I am on my own side. That I have my greatest ally with me.

Now, that was a long introduction, but
my reason for writing was "to listen to the voice of my own heart."

..."Was"?
Past tense? Is the reason different now?

Well, now that I have largely returned to my former self, I feel that this is no longer my only reason for writing.

What is my reason for writing now?
And what do I want to do from here on? I will write about that another time.
Sorry for keeping you in suspense, haha.

Thank you for reading until the end.