My first novel is scary. I will honestly tell you the reason why I am writing it anyway.

Transparent anxiety and firm determination, illuminated by the light of the screen.

The night I froze in front of the screen

The cursor is blinking.

A stark white text editor. It has already been 20 minutes since I opened note.

"Maybe I should try writing a novel."

That is what I thought the night I saw the announcement for the note Creative Awards 2026. But my fingers won't move. Even though there is definitely "something" in my head, the first sentence just won't come out.

I have only been on note for a month and a half. I am now attempting to write my first novel in my life.

The invisible wall between "people who can write" and "me"

I will be honest from the start.

I am not particularly good at writing.

I can't keep a diary, and I could never finish writing book reports. Even so, the reason I started note was because the feeling of "I want to deliver something to someone in my own words" just wouldn't go away.

Once I started, something strange happened.

Every time I post, I get likes. Comments arrive. Someone I don't know tells me, "I read it."

In just a month and a half, writing had changed from something "scary" to something I "look forward to."

And now, I am about to hit the wall that lies beyond that—a novel—head-on.

The moment I decided to enter the Creative Awards

When I read the announcement page, the first thing I felt was, "This is impossible for me."

The names of the winners, the works of professional writers—those things crossed my mind, and I quietly closed the browser.

But the next morning, I had opened it again.

I have noticed something after reading it over several times.

The moment I felt that, something collapsed.

Winning an award is not the goal. “Completing it” is my challenge.

Once I decided that, the cursor started to move.

Three things I learned from writing a novel for the first time

A few days after I started writing, I hit a wall. But at the same time, important things started to become clear.

1. The moment I think “I want to write well,” my hands stop

If I demand too much perfection, I cannot write anything. Once I set the goal of “finishing it even if it is bad,” the pages suddenly started to progress.

2. Daily notes become material for the novel as they are

The daily events, emotions, and realizations I have written about on note. I have the feeling that all of that is turning into the “reality” of the characters. It was the moment I felt that the accumulation of a month and a half was not in vain.

3. The feeling of “I want you to read this” becomes energy

As long as I have the desire to deliver it to someone, there is no reason to stop writing. This feeling has nothing to do with the number of followers or the results of an award.

I want to read “your writing” rather than “good writing”

The other day, I was struck by the words of a certain note creator.

“Perfect sentences can be written by anyone. Your sentences can only be written by you.”

This has not left my mind.

It becomes scary because I try to stand on the same stage as professional writers. But if I write “things only I can write,” there are no competitors.

I might not win an award with my first novel. It might not be read.

Even so, when I finish it, I think I will surely have changed a little bit again.

Just like the day I started note, and the day I got my first like.

Don't you also have something you haven't written yet?

Lastly, please let me ask you one thing.

Is there something in your head that you have always thought, "I want to write this someday"?

That "something" you were waiting for the right timing for, because you lacked the confidence to finish it and thought you had no talent.

The deadline for the note Creative Awards 2026 is still ahead.

I will continue writing the rest of my clumsy novel today, too. If you'd like, why not join me?

The cursor is always blinking.

Thank you for reading until the end.

📖 If you felt that you could read this as "your own story,"
likes, comments, and follows will encourage me to write the next article.

The reason I will continue to write from now on

[Note]

*This article is written based on the author's personal experiences and state of mind. Please check the official website for details and application requirements for the Creative Awards.

*This article is based solely on personal experience, thoughts, and creative work (including fiction).

*The image is an illustration generated by AI (Gemini).

◇Click here for the disclaimer◆
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[Reference Materials]

• note Creative Awards 2026:https://note.com/info/n/n (*Please check the official recruitment page)

#CreativeAward2026 #AllCategoryDivision