It is precisely because I have failed that I can be kind to others

The 8% Man
— What a Life Spared Wants to Convey —
Episode 5: It is precisely because I have failed that I can be kind to others.

There is a pain in others that I can only understand because I have experienced pain myself.

I can no longer easily say, "It will be alright."

When you have received a serious consultation from someone, have you ever said, "It will be alright"?
I have.

But now, I can no longer say "It will be alright" as easily as I once did.
In fact, there are times when I cannot answer immediately and find myself lost in thought.

This is because I have come to know the suffering of "when things are not alright" myself.

When someone is truly suffering, being told "It will be alright" by someone else may not be of any help at all.

In my heart, I would think, "What exactly is alright?"

That is why, before saying "It will be alright," I have started to think about what that person is suffering from right now.

A business owner's "pain" does not appear on financial statements

As a tax accountant, I hold financial closing meetings with business owners.
We tax accountants look at the numbers.

Sales.
Profit.
Borrowings.
Cash flow.
Net assets.

Of course, all of these are important.
But there are things that do not appear on financial statements.

Are they sleeping at night?
Can they pay their employees' salaries?
What should they tell the bank?
They cannot consult with their family.
They cannot show weakness to their employees either.
Should they continue this company as it is?

These are the things inside a business owner's heart.

How do I stand by the pain of a business owner that does not show up in the numbers?
When I think about that, I try to remember what I was worried about and what I was afraid of back when I was a business owner myself.

The old me used to try to provide "answers"

When I had just obtained my tax accountant qualification, whenever a business owner consulted me, I would try to provide an answer immediately.

"You should reduce high-interest loans."
"Looking at the numbers, you should do this."
"You should stop doing that."

Perhaps those were the correct answers from the perspective of the numbers.
But was I truly looking at the background of that business owner?

Now, I think before I give an answer.
Why is this person struggling?
What is the real problem hidden behind the numbers?
I have started to think in this way.

Perhaps this is because I myself
have stood on the 'not okay' side.

I myself have stood on the 'not okay' side

I have made many mistakes in my life.

I failed in an M&A.
My joint venture also did not go well.
I have also made wrong management decisions.
And, my heart stopped twice.

During my long hospital stay, the situation at my office changed significantly,
and I lost contracts with many clients.

At that time, for the first time,
I began to feel the emotions of the business owners I had been advising
more deeply than before.

I do not think of my many failures
as mere 'hardships'.

There were things I only saw after I stood on the weaker side.
That is what I believe.

Failure changed the way I look at people

In the past, when I saw someone who had failed in business,
I would sometimes think,
'Why didn't they take action sooner?'

But after failing myself, I understood.

There are times when you cannot make a decision even if you know what to do.
There are times when you cannot move even if you think it is the right thing to do.

Management involves various intertwined circumstances.

Products aren't selling.
You have employees.
You cannot hire people.
You have a family.
Cash flow is tight.
You have debts.
You have business partners.
And, you become anxious about the future.

A business owner's decisions do not always go by the textbook.

I once received a consultation
from a business owner struggling with cash flow.

Looking only at the numbers, it was a situation where personnel cuts
had to be considered as an option.

The old me might have looked only at the numbers
and replied,
'You have no choice but to reduce staff.'

But those employees have lives too.
They have families.

And the business owner had a thought:
“If possible, I do not want to reduce staff.”

If we looked only at the numbers,
we might have arrived at the conclusion of reducing staff.
But management cannot be decided by numbers alone.

Instead of giving an immediate answer, I first listened to what they had to say.

“What is it that you truly want to do, President?”

I tried to listen to the business owner's true feelings, which do not appear in the numbers.

Instead of blaming them by asking, “Why did you think of such a thing?”
I think, “Why did they feel they had to do that?”

The answer indicated by the numbers and the answer the business owner is seeking
are not necessarily the same.

I believe that being able to understand people's pain
is also an important asset to gain in life.

Rather than a “correct answer,” a “person to think with”

What a business owner truly needs
may not just be someone
who gives them the correct answer.

Someone who will worry with them.
Someone who will stand by them.
And someone who will move forward with them.

Because I am a tax accountant, I look only at taxes.
Because I am an M&A advisor, I look only at corporate value.
Because I am a management consultant, I look only at profits.
Because I am a food advisor, I look only at profit margins.
Because I am a marketer, I look only at follower counts.

I believe that is not enough.

I look at the numbers.
But beyond those numbers, there are always people.

Beyond sales, there are customers.
Beyond labor costs, there are employees and their families.
Beyond loans, there are the decisions of the business owner.

And beyond the financial statements, there is the life of the business owner.

That is why I
“look at the people beyond the numbers.”
I want to be that kind of tax accountant.

Sometimes, it is because we have failed that we can be kind to others

Of course, this does not mean
that successful people are not kind.

Success is a wonderful thing.
I, too, have worked with the desire to succeed.

But when I look back on my life,
I feel that it was my failures,
rather than my successes, that taught me about human pain.

Because I have failed, I can no longer laugh at those who are struggling.

Because I have experienced setbacks,
I no longer rush those who have come to a standstill.

Because I have stood on the side of those who are 'not okay' myself,
I can no longer easily say, 'It will be okay.'

And, precisely because I once nearly lost my life,
I have come to want to cherish the lives
of the people right in front of me.

It is precisely because I have failed that I can be kind to others.

When I think of it that way,
perhaps the 'tuition for life' I have paid until now
was not too high after all.

And now, I want to use what I have learned from that tuition
for the sake of someone else.

I believe that is the work I can do, having been allowed to live.

If I have been able to understand human pain,
I want to transform that pain into the strength to support someone.

A word for today

Failure does not only make a person weak.
It also makes them someone who can understand the pain of others.