🎊Apollo Cup Gold Prize🎊 Congratulations!

🎉Please celebrate the winners with likes and comments………!!ヾ(･ω･*)ﾉ↓


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Apollo's Haiku Grand Prize Winning Entries Presentation

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★Gold Prize (2 poems)


Hearing a couple's lovers' quarrel while eating shaved ice
Koki Kameyama

~Impressions~

You can see the couple's lovers' quarrel, can't you? You can hear their voices too. Where are they!?
Since it's shaved ice, maybe it's at a beach house. If so, they're wearing swimsuits, and you can smell the salt.
Or maybe it's at a food court in a large mall.

The imagination just keeps running. And surely, for anyone. It's so much fun!
The author captured the comical figures of the lovers in a haiku, as if snapping a photo from the perspective of the shaved ice.

Haiku is sketching; expressing the scenery you see just as it is is the secret to improvement. Leaving room for the reader to imagine is also an important technique.

The words are kept to a minimum and utilized to the maximum.
The fun of the 'ka' sound rhyme and rhythm is truly the skill of a master. 'Kenka kiku kakigoori.' You can tell when you say it out loud. This kind of ingenuity, this playfulness. It's called 'haikai-mi' (haiku flavor).

Thank you for this model poem that is so accessible to beginners! Congratulations on the Gold Prize🐾

The setting sun shines on the elephant as it throws sand on its back
junchan

~Impressions~

This is a dynamic, yet peaceful moment of an elephant's activity. I have never seen an elephant throw sand on itself instead of water.
But through the power of this work, the scene becomes vividly visible! The power of life!

In this poem, 'shines' (sasu) is a verb that cannot be omitted. 'Shines' works perfectly with the harsh setting sun and the elephant's movement.
I would be tempted to use something like 'great setting sun,' but the author is writing calmly and courageously. They aren't afraid of failure.

By the way, beginners, please try to use as few verbs as possible in your haiku. Until you get used to it, if you follow the rule of one verb per poem, you will improve quickly!

This poem is truly easy for the viewer to understand.
The poignancy of the time when the sunset is about to fall and the elephant's gentle image and vitality make for a very skillful contrast.
After throwing the sand, how did the elephant move?
This also depends on how the reader feels.
Since this author also has a strong sense of what makes a model poem, these are all works you can read with peace of mind. Let's steal their technique.

Thank you for this model poem that is so accessible to beginners! Congratulations on the Gold Prize🐾

Continuing to Apollo's Haiku Grand Prize Winning Entries Presentation (LAST)↓