[The Mom's Perspective] Tips for Moms Returning to Work 2 Months Postpartum | Husband and Wife Working and Parenting 1:1

While this account is usually written by both of us as a couple, this time I am sharing my story of returning to full-time work two months after giving birth, from the perspective of the mom.

Writing it this way might make you imagine a "career-oriented mom who works hard" or a "superwoman who balances work and parenting with overflowing energy."

Perhaps that is how we have appeared in our previous notes as well.

But, to be honest, the reality is completely different.

To begin with, I am by no means a person overflowing with vitality, and my default state is flying low.
I am just a person who manages to work as an employee while being grateful for remote work and flextime systems.
My choice to return to full-time work early was actually the result of desperately thinking about how I could live a sustainable life without wearing myself out after having a child.

The reason I didn't choose reduced hours

When I decided to return to full-time work two months after giving birth, people around me told me "don't push yourself" many times.

However, in truth, the reason I didn't choose reduced working hours was largely because I didn't have the confidence to work in a style where I would maintain high productivity and work efficiently within limited hours.

At the same time, given my personality, I thought I wouldn't be able to mentally handle a life where I quit my job or gave up on my career and just kept working for money.

I have worked hard to study and get the job I want, so I don't have the courage to let that come to an end.

If I reduced my hours, I could continue working, but my performance reviews would likely be at the bottom, and I wouldn't be able to expect any raises or promotions during that time (at least in my company).

If I felt the negative sensation that I was raising my child at the expense of my career, that might even be transmitted to my child.

The more I thought about it, the more I felt that if I was going to return, I wanted to do it full-time.

My goal after returning is "not to break my body"

That said, life with a two-month-old baby is indeed filled with days of sleep deprivation from nighttime feedings and being busy with first-time parenting.
Also, I believe that separation from the mother is a significant stressor not only for the child but also for the mother.
Returning to full-time work in that state is a risk that, if one step goes wrong, could lead to physical or mental breakdown.

The one thing I want to avoid is burning out and having to quit.
I must always keep the risks of postpartum depression and adjustment disorders in the back of my mind.
To maintain performance in the medium to long term, I need to restart work cautiously.

My goal for the first day back was not to trip on the stairs at the train station during my commute.
During work, my goal is to stand up from my desk at least once an hour.
I will not make the mistake of thinking I am a superwoman, and I will keep my daily goals set very, very low.

Use systems to the fullest "just in case"

Even if I think I might not need them, I use every available system just in case.

The first things I applied for were permission for full remote work and childcare time.
Actually, I did want to go into the office properly since I was returning, but I applied for it anyway.
It was actually a huge help.
Looking back, I suppose that makes sense.
At my company, I was able to take up to one hour of childcare time per day while my child was zero years old (paid leave. So grateful!).

Communicate openly

In my case, I am blessed with a great boss and colleagues who are very considerate.
That is precisely why, to avoid causing unnecessary worry, I disclose my current situation and physical and mental state to my boss and colleagues as much as possible.

It might be hard to say things, especially if your boss is a man, but I just throw caution to the wind and say it all (lol).

I tell them things like, "My husband is on childcare leave, so I can work," and "I will put childcare time (for nursing or pumping) in my schedule,"
I value team coordination,
and it is important to show an attitude of trying to maximize output as an organization.

It is also okay to go to work drinking parties as a "break"

You might feel that work social gatherings right after returning are a burden, but I made a point to attend them within reasonable limits.
After all, even during the child-rearing phase, if you cut off all work-related social interactions and relationships,
I think it can be tough to lose that non-work aspect of your professional life.
I decided that as long as it's within a range that both my husband and I can accept, attending them is fine.
(It's almost as if I had my husband learn to handle solo parenting just for this!)

Finally, if you lose sight of why you are working and start feeling overwhelmed,

Just stop thinking about it for a while!
Wondering if this is really for the child, if it's the right thing to do, or what you wanted to do... these aren't things to ponder when you're sleep-deprived! (lol)

Since you thought things through before giving birth and chose this path, as long as your baby is growing up healthy, I think it's best to consider this a great success for now and just keep pushing forward.

Once you get a little more used to it, or as your baby gets older and starts sleeping better, you might find some time to think more calmly.

Then, you can take your time and think about it again.

At that point, if you decide that you've had enough of your current job, it's perfectly fine to quit, switch to shorter hours, or change jobs.

(It's surprising how much your values and priorities can completely shift after experiencing childbirth, isn't it?)

To all the moms returning to work without taking maternity leave (or with a short one), let's do our best together✨

The end.