Don't Get Tired of Relationships! The Balance of Empathy and Boundaries Taught by Neuroscience [The Secret of Self-Improvement Learned from Neuroscience]

“I get tired from being too considerate of others”

“I get pushed around by others and put myself last”

Do you have

such relationship worries?

In the background of that,

the “workings of the brain” are involved.

In this article, from the perspective of neuroscience,

I will explain how to balance

“empathy” and “boundaries.”

1. The brain is structured to be easily “empathetic”

In our brains,

there are nerve cells

called “mirror neurons.”

These function to

“feel others' expressions and emotions

as if they were your own.”

Thanks to this,

people can understand how others feel, but

it can also be a source of stress.

If you work too hard,

you will experience "empathy fatigue."

2. What happens if your empathy is too strong?

• Emotions are easily contagious
  
  → You are influenced by others' anxiety and anger, and you get tired yourself
  
  

• Prioritizing others too much
  
  → "Cannot refuse" or "Cannot say NO when asked"
  
  

• Self-esteem drops
  
  → You start to feel like "I'm the only one making sacrifices"

3. How to draw boundaries, as taught by neuroscience

✅ 1. Know that "empathy" and "identification" are different

Being close to someone's feelings and

being swallowed by them are different.


Try to distinguish between

your own emotions and the other person's emotions.

✅ 2. Engage your prefrontal cortex to think calmly

The prefrontal cortex has

the function of "organizing emotions" and "making rational judgments."

It works.

Through deep breathing, rest, and shifting your thoughts

Prevent emotional runaway

✅ ③ Have your own "comfort zone" in words

Phrases like "It's a bit difficult right now"

Prepare expressions to protect your heart

By having them ready

you can prevent yourself from impulsively "overextending"

4. Practical Points

• Make it a habit to monitor your emotions
  
  → Ask yourself once a day, "How am I feeling right now?"
  
  

  
  
  

• Take a breath after listening to others
  
  → Don't react immediately
  
  Secure time to think with your prefrontal cortex
  
  

• Clarify what you "can do" and "cannot do"
  
  → Even if you want to help
  
  Think within a range that doesn't sacrifice yourself

Summary

Empathy is

in human relationships

a very important power, but

Being swayed by that

is counterproductive.

• The brain has a mechanism that makes it easy to empathize
  

• That is precisely why it is necessary to consciously
  
  draw a "boundary"
  

• Let's utilize the prefrontal cortex and
  
  develop the habit of valuing our own emotions

Let's adjust the distance

with others

together with our brains

to be "just right."

From next time,

we will deliver the Health Secrets Learned from Neuroscience series.

We will deliver it to you.

Thank you for reading this article.

Based on my experience of working as an elementary school teacher for about 30 years,

I am introducing "The Secrets of Self-Improvement Learned from Neuroscience."

I have also published other articles in the "Secrets of Self-Improvement" series.

Please take a look if you'd like.

To you, who read until the end

Thank you.

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