[Old Age] To us after you are gone🤗

I had some business to attend to and met my biological father (the children's grandfather) again.
When he was young, he survived the hardcore Showa-era sales culture, and as a super self-made man with a positive mindset,he sipped his strong coffee and let out a small complaint to me.
It was so rare that I was a bit surprised.😮

Grandfather: Come to think of it, I started working again as an advisor.

Me: Oh, really? You're energetic. Are you still working?

Grandfather: Well,when I'm at home, things don't go well with XX (my mother).We're always fighting.

Me: That's been the case for a long time, hasn't it? Why worry about it all of a sudden?

Grandfather: Because I was working, I had my own place called 'work,' so I was fine even if we fought at 'home.' But after I retired from 'work,' when things get bad between us as a couple, there's nowhere to escape, so it's really tough.

Me: I understand what you're trying to say, but couldn't you just not fight?

Grandfather: That's the thing,strangely enough, as we both get older, for some reason, we end up fighting over trivial things even more.Me: If you're together in the house too much, maybe you do end up fighting more. Work... isn't that fine? As long as you prioritize your health in moderation.

Grandfather: I suppose so. Your mother supported me a lot when I was young, so I planned trips and such thinking I could finally repay her, but in the end, we only went once. She makes various excuses and avoids it. ...Somehow, I thought

maybe we could get along better if I had work.Me: Huh (...is this... too late?)

Grandfather: I thought that once you guys became independent, we could have a slow and easy life as a couple, but it didn't work out.

I thought I had been working hard to feed my family, but I realized at this point that maybe it was actually for my own sake.Me: I see. (For that father of mine to let this much slip, he must be really worn out🙄)

I am spending intense yet happy days while feeling my children's growth firsthand.😅 That is my intention.
However, in another 10 years? 20 years? There is a possibility that this will become a life with just my wife and me.

What kind of life do I want to live at that time?🙄

1. I want to tell my father: The increase in fighting is not because of 'age'😗

First, what I want to tell my father (though I couldn't say it) is
the reason the fighting increased is not 'because you've aged'..

He (my father) has truly lived his life dedicated to work. It is a way of life worthy of being calleda company dog. If I were to add respect to that, he is a person whose
life's purpose is to contribute to society. Until I was in junior high school, he repeatedly transferred and lived away from home, dedicating most of his time to the company.However, I have memories of playing with him often during my childhood.

When he was occasionally at home, he was very kind to me, the youngest child. Considering that his weekday work was a level of intensity💥 unimaginable in this day and age, that is truly amazing.
It is also a part of my father that I, as a parent, respect.
He doesn't realize that.
While he was working so hard, he didn't notice the


'hardship of my mother (my biological mother)'who continued to support three children (me and two siblings in the middle of puberty) all by herself.I think that on very rare occasions, my father would offer words of appreciation to my mother. However, immediately after those words of appreciation, he would talk about the human dynamics, achievements, or accomplishments at his work.And after my father left for work, there was


the sight of my mother washing dishes and venting, saying, 'He really is only interested in himself.'Even as an elementary school student at the time, the memory of my mother's face with deep wrinkles between her brows and the clashing sound of dishes being washed loudly remains vivid.Me: (Wait? Does Mom actually hate Dad?😗)

Looking back, I think my father was giving his all to love his work and his family. (I don't know how he feels about it himself.)
However, he completely got the ratio wrong.He was giving his all with a 'Work:Family = 9:1' ratio. I think my father was truly doing his best.

From my mother's perspective, that's irrelevant.
It may be true thatthe household finances were somewhat wealthier than other families.
However, from her perspective, I'm sureresentment built up toward my father's attitude of only allocating 10% of his effort to the family.
As I grew up, I could see the color of that resentment deepening.

Deep down, my father might have also had a subconscious feeling that 'I'm working this hard, so I'm having a harder time than you who are at home.'
Therefore,my father would listen to my mother's stories and complaints, but he wasn't really listening at all.

Dad, it's not too late even now.
Go to the gym with her for strength training.💪 Let it out there.

If you run away to your specialty, 'work,' again here, you will end your life without ever being thanked by my mother. Because you ignored what she wanted for about 40 years.

The reason you think the fighting has increased is
'because you no longer have work, you can now see the dissatisfaction and resentment that my mother accumulated since the children were around.'
That's all it is. The cause hasn't changed in 40 years.

Men are good at their jobs when they are super insensitive.
I also empathize with this through my own shallow social experience.
However, that can also backfire at home.

My father has no ill intentions.
Not being able to notice my mother's dissatisfaction was the flip side of his strengths, so it couldn't be helped.

Watching my parents, I realized there are many different kinds of old age.

2. What is our old age like?🙂

There is something I tell my children as a father from time to time.
That is'From junior high school onwards, you are free.'.

After finishing compulsory education, how many people naturally go on to high school, university, or even graduate school.

Of course, I also think they should go if they want to.
I want them to think for themselves at every turning point in their lives about what they want to become and make choices for that purpose.


Wait, hold on.
If that's the case, there's a possibility that the children will leave home as workers as early as 10 years from now. If they say they want to go to a boarding junior high school, will we stop living together in less than 10 years?

...Aww, Dad is lonely.😂

What is life like with just my wife after the children leave?
For what it's worth, we lived together for about two years before we got engaged, but at that time, we were both truly free.
I would loop between work, the gym, and the library, and she would focus on work and her hobbies at home.
We didn't really do anything together.
We would cook dinner together if the timing was right and just eat whatever.
It was that kind of loose cohabitation.

After getting married and having children, my wife and I have been doing things together more than when we were living together.
What will happen when, at some point, the children are gone and both my wife and I retire from work?

Just the gym and the library? No, no.
Traveling with my wife...? Yeah, that's fine, but I don't want to go frequently. It's tiring.
Even though we vowed to be happy together, I can't picture a vision of a loving couple in life after the children are gone.😖

I could really understand the feeling of restarting 'work' like my father.

3. I know that health is everything.😑

I have a sense of despair that I can't picture my old age with my wife, but before that, I think it's important tocare about my health starting now.
I don't know if I'll be alive due to illness or accidents, but health is the foundation of everything in old age.

As expected,exercise and diet should not be underestimated.
Exercise can be aerobic exercise like walking, and moderate strength training can prevent the decline of physical function.

And the diet that goes with it!
Seafood and mushrooms rich in Vitamin D (which is also produced in the human body by exposure to sunlight).
These reduce the risk of dementia, myocardial infarction, and stroke.
Diet is important!

A happy old age is only possible with a healthy body, isn't it?
Not only managing money and the happiness of children and grandchildren, but first and foremost, I must take care of my own health.

Besides that,

dentist, H. pylori removal do what you can.

I will do it, BUT!!!
I drink alcohol and I am a smoker.😥

Even though I am doing things that negate everything, it has become painful to pretend to care about my health.

Please,I want to live not just until my children grow up to be fine adults, but until my old age when I can spend time happily with my wife.
Everyone, let's do what we can.

4. To me in my old age when the children are not at home😉

When I am over 60, will my children be around my current age?
How are they doing? It doesn't matter if they are married or not, but are they spending their time happily? I would be happy if they are healthy.

On the other hand, how are you doing?
Are you suffering from lifestyle-related diseases due to lack of exercise and overeating?
Has your body been ruined by years of smoking?
Are you cherishing your wife? I, as I am now, think that I must always repay my wife who has supported me through everything for many years.

Regarding what I think about my father, it's the same in the end.
It seems that fathers all feel the gratitude for their wives, but it is difficult to repay that with daily actions. Please listen to your wife's words on a daily basis.💦

May you spend your life healthily with your wife, and may you both be able to smile when the time comes to say goodbye, regardless of who goes first.

I must cherish the present.

5. Conversation between a father who doesn't want his daughter to leave and a second daughter who is fully prepared to leave the nest (bedroom)

Dad: Grandpa says he's going to start working again.

Second daughter: Huh? He's a grandpa, that's impressive!

Dad: I think he's going to work for a long time.

Second daughter: Is it because he wants money from working?

Dad: No, it doesn't seem like he wants money. He said he thought it might be better to work so he can be kind to Grandma.

Second daughter: Hmm. 🙄

Dad: (That's hard to understand, isn't it?) When you and your sister move out of this house, it'll just be Mom and me, right? When that happens, I think I might be able to be kinder to Mom if I keep working a little bit.

Second daughter: Huh? Dad, you're working now, aren't you?

Dad: Oh? That's right.

Second daughter: Then you have to be kind to Mom.

Dad: I'm kind to her now, aren't I?

Second daughter: Eh... more!

Dad: I see. Since I'm working now, I'll be very grateful to Mom and be kind to her.

Second daughter: Exactly.In that case, it's okay for us to move out of this house soon!

Dad: Huh. Are you leaving already?(Why did it turn into that?)

Second daughter: Yeah! Ryder from PAW Patrol, you know! He's 9 years old! He's already working on his own and protecting the town!

Dad: Ah, I remember that.

Second daughter: Me too! I'll do it! I'm turning 6 soon! I'll do my best to give lots of instructions to Marshall! And then I'll defeat the evil Mayor Humdinger.

Dad: So you're going to leave home, start working, and live all by yourself?

Second daughter: Yeah!

Dad: Oh, I want you to stay a little longer. I'll be lonely.

Second daughter: It's okay! I'll come home sometimes when my mission is over!

Dad: Aren't you lonely, [Second daughter]?

Second daughter: I'm not lonely! Because I'm PAW Patrol!

Dad: I'm sure Ryder is all over his dad when he gets home too! Just like this!

Smooch 😗

Second daughter: Ah, you stink! Stop it! Don't come near me! I'm leaving the house now!

Dad: Sorry! But I won't stop.

SMOOCH!!!

I was more shocked that my daughter called me stinky so soon.

The time will come when they leave the nest and live their own lives to the fullest.
That is a very happy thing.
But I don't want that time to come yet. 😑
I still want to be together. I want to wash their hair and play lots of silly games. By doing that, my wife, who will be alone with me in our old age, won't have any resentment toward me for not doing anything. I even thought about it in a calculating way.

I feel that enjoying the present with my family to the fullest will also make us happy in our old age. 🤗