The story of being told 'I fell in love with you romantically.' #3
S was waiting for me in a place with little foot traffic.
Even though they were the person who had been singing on stage just a moment ago, they looked like a completely different person.
S was always dazzling during live performances.
They would stand in the center of the stage, smiling as if they were taking in every fan's gaze.
But at that moment, S was restlessly shifting their gaze and barely looked at my face.
It felt strange.
I felt a little relieved.
I thought, even though they're an idol, they still get nervous just like anyone else.
"Sorry for calling you out so suddenly."
After saying that, S fell silent for a while.
The night city was quiet, and only the sound of distant cars could be heard.
That silence felt strangely long.
Then S said in a small voice,
"I've fallen in love with you romantically."
After a short pause, they continued,
"If you're okay with it, I'd like you to go out with me."
I thought the expression 'my mind went blank' was an exaggeration.
But just for that moment, it was truly the case.
I didn't know what to think.
It wasn't that I wasn't happy.
In fact, I was happy.
It's naturally a happy thing to have someone whose face you like show interest in you.
That's just obvious.
But it wasn't just that.
I was troubled.
Or rather, I didn't understand my own feelings.
Because I had never thought about wanting to date my favorite idol.I liked S's face.
I liked the way they looked when they sang and danced.
I liked their expressions during live shows and the way they interacted with fans.
But that was all about 'S the idol'.If asked whether I liked them as a romantic partner, it was probably different.
Of course, it's not like I wasn't aware of them at all.
We met almost every week.
They called my name, we talked, and we took dozens of cheki photos together.
When you repeat things like that, there are moments when you start to think you might be a little special.
But I felt that was a little different from love.
That's why I couldn't give an answer right away.
S looked restless the whole time,
saying things like 'Sorry for the suddenness' or
'I don't want to make things difficult for you,'
repeating similar things over and over.
Perhaps S was more nervous than I was.
After thinking for a bit, I told them,
'I can't give you an answer right away.'
Then I added,
'I want to talk about it properly when we meet again.'
S nodded slightly.
I still remember the expression on their face at that moment.
It was as if they were relieved.
As if they were holding onto a little bit of hope.
That was the kind of face it was.
We talked a little more that day and then parted ways.
On the way home, I thought about it while blankly looking at my own reflection in the train window.
To be confessed to by my favorite idol.
I think it's something many fans imagine at least once.
A dream-like story.
And yet, I wasn't as excited as I thought I would be.
Even though I should have been happy.
Even though my heart was beating faster.
Somewhere deep down, I was scared.I think I realized it at that moment.
If we were to start dating,
I might not be able to see 'S the idol' that I loved anymore.