The story of how I didn't become a mother on my own

The other day, someone at work said this to me.

“You’re so forgetful, I don’t know how you’ve managed to be a mother.”

I couldn't help but laugh, but

I honestly think so myself.

At work, there are times when I walk two steps and think, “Wait, what did I come here for?” yet I have raised three sons, now in middle school and elementary school.

Thinking about it now, it’s truly a mystery.

When they were babies, I wouldn't remember if I had changed their diapers, or I would lose track of what time I had fed them.

Parenting involves so many things to do, after all.

The days flew by in a blur, and as the children grew, there were parent-teacher meetings, individual conferences, classroom observations, sports days...

While managing all those schedules,

I found ways to avoid forgetting things and created my own systems to get through it all.

And now, I think about it again.

I certainly did not raise my children on my own.

My husband wasn't the type to do a lot of housework.

So there were times when I focused on the things he didn't do.

But looking back, he did give the children baths.

I believe he must have done it because he enjoyed it.

As the number of children grew from two to three, he would feed them dinner and help them get dressed.

I had only been counting the times he didn't do enough or the things I felt dissatisfied about, but...

The things that were done for me
certainly existed as well.

I wanted to properly count those small, accumulated efforts
as facts.
I wanted to acknowledge them.

Now that my children are in middle school and elementary school,
they are developing their own values,
and we find ourselves clashing more often.

But I haven't raised them
this far all by myself.

My husband's parents and siblings, my own family and relatives.

I feel once again that I've made it this far
while being supported by so many people.

The reason I, who am so forgetful,
have been able to raise my three sons this far

is not because I was perfect.

I think it's because I found ways not to forget,
borrowed the strength of those around me,
and desperately
built up each moment as it came.

My parenting journey isn't over yet, but
by continuing to tell those around me that
I cannot do what I cannot do,
I am not good at what I am not good at,
and I am not perfect,
I want to increase the number of supporters
who will help me.
That is what I thought about
during an event at work one day.