A filial piety drive with my 84-year-old mother, without making her walk too much
How many more times will I be able to go out with my parents?
Recently, I've started thinking about that quite often.
When I was young, I took going out with my parents
for granted.
'Maybe next time is fine.'
'Let's go when I have a bit more time.'
'I'll take them on a proper trip when I can.'
While I was thinking like that,
my parents aged, and I reached my 50s.
This time, I went on a day trip drive with my 84-year-old mother from
Senriyama to the Farm UNIVERSAL OSAKA.
However, the goal this time
was not to visit many tourist spots.
My mother has bad legs and cannot walk for long periods.
So, the theme for this trip was clear.
A filial piety drive without making her walk too much.
Being able to go by car.
Being able to sit and rest.
Being able to eat lunch slowly.
Being able to see greenery.
Being able to return home before getting tired.
This is a small day trip that valued these five things.
Filial piety is not just about taking them somewhere far away
When I hear the word filial piety,
I feel like I have to do something grand.
Taking them on a hot spring trip.
Guiding them to famous tourist spots.
Treating them to a luxurious meal.
Of course, that is also wonderful.
But when parents get old,
the plans we make thinking it's for the best
can sometimes become a burden instead.
Long stairs.
Facilities that are too large.
Crowded parking lots.
Restaurants with long wait times.
Places where the restroom is far away.
Things that didn't bother me when I was young
become very big problems when going out with a parent who has bad legs.
So this time, the first thing I thought about
was not 'where is photogenic'.
Is the restroom nearby?
Is there a place to sit?
Is it not too far from the car?
Is it not too hot?
Can we go home immediately if she gets tired?
This might be a bit too realistic.
But I think not ignoring these realities is important for filial piety in your 50s.
I believe this is important for showing filial piety from your 50s onwards.
Sit early. Eat early. Go home early.
On this drive, we had an early lunch at
FARMER’S KITCHEN OSAKA around 11:00 AM.
This was also done with my mother's legs in mind.
When going out with a parent who has bad legs,
saying "Let's look around a bit more before we eat"
can sometimes be a risky decision.
Getting hungry.
Getting tired.
Having nowhere to sit.
When these three things overlap,
what should be a fun outing can turn into a painful memory.
So this time, we sit first.
Eat slowly.
Rest first.
And then, look at the plant area just a little bit.
Don't try to see everything.
Don't walk too much.
End it while still wanting a little more.
If it were a trip when I was younger,
I might have thought, "Since we're here, let's see everything."
But now, it's a little different.
A trip where you can say "Let's go again" is better than a trip where you are exhausted.
Since I turned 50,
I have come to value this feeling very much.
Time spent with parents has a lasting effect.
This drive,
was not a trip to a far-off place.
We didn't visit any special tourist spots either.
We rode in the car together,
went to a place with greenery,
had lunch,
walked a little,
and went home early.
That is all there is to the day.
But, after returning home, I thought about it.
Perhaps it is moments like these that stay in your heart later on.
Being able to eat a meal with your parent. Being able to see the same scenery and say, "It's beautiful." Being able to ask, "Are you tired?" Being able to say, "Let's go again."
All of these things seem ordinary, but in reality, they are not.
When you reach your 50s, you have more to think about: retirement funds, health, work, family, inheritance, and caregiving.
However, if you only look at things that make you anxious, you might overlook the time you have right now.
Protecting your money is important. Preparing for the future is also important.
But I believe that while we are still able to move, while we can still go out together, creating small memories is also an important way to spend the money and time of the second half of our lives.
About this YouTube video
In this YouTube video, I share a day trip with my 84-year-old mother, who has bad legs, from Senriyama to the Farm UNIVERSAL OSAKA.
Rather than a sightseeing guide, this content explores "how to go out with a parent who has bad legs," "how to think about filial piety from your 50s," and "what a parent-child trip without overdoing it looks like," through the experience of an actual day.
In the video, I talk about a form of filial piety that doesn't involve too much walking, through the flow of traveling by car, having lunch, taking a short stroll, and returning home early.
Please take a look at the full YouTube video if you'd like.
▼ Click here for the full YouTube video
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#TimeWithMom
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Summary
Filial piety is not just about taking your parents to far-off places.
It can be somewhere nearby. It can be for a short time. It can just be for lunch. It is okay if you don't get to see everything.
What is important is being able to spend time together without strain, according to your parent's physical condition.
And, on the way home, leaving enough energy to say, "Let's go again."
In the second half of life, perhaps it is more important to have a journey you can continue than a perfect one.