I keep pedaling my bicycle because I am not alone

At 12:06 AM on December 30, 2021, I posted the last 4-panel comic of the year.

I have been quietly and steadily continuing these 4-panel comics since March 2016. I think of stories so I can post them every week, and somehow I managed to draw 52 episodes this year, ending the year at 288 episodes.

The reason I continue the 4-panel comics is simple: "I thought of a story, so I draw it." That is all.

However, when I actually try to draw them, it is not simple at all. At first, I was humming along thinking, "Once a week? Easy, easy," but I ended up coming up with settings, characters, and stories that were so troublesome that even I wondered, "Why do I come up with things like this?"

4-panel comics are generally self-contained in one episode. But the 4-panel comics I draw have a story. I got myself into something troublesome. I have no regrets.

The number of characters has increased year by year, and the correlation diagram has gradually expanded. Entering 2021, the story finally steered toward the climax. In 2022, I will move into episodes where wrapping up the story will be particularly difficult.

And "posting a 4-panel comic every Wednesday" is also truly simple. Just post one 4-panel comic once a week. Buuuuut. But, that is. Once you start, it is not easy at all.

While working, while having other things I want to do, while worrying about my parents, and while wanting time to play, I have to make time to think about the stories and settings for the 4-panel comics. This is not easy.

In fact, there have been many days when I couldn't make the deadline by 11:59 PM on Wednesday and posted them in the 0:00 AM hour on Thursday. The day I posted the last 4-panel comic of the year was also on a Thursday. I am truly sorry.

If I were to compare my 4-panel comic series, it would be a bicycle. "I thought of a story, so I draw it" is like "I want to go far on a bicycle, so I pedal."

When I think of something, it's fun, so I pedal away. I go to the bicycle parking lot many times a week, take out my bike, and pedal as I please.

Before long, the goal that was 1km away at first becomes 2km, 3km, 5km, 10km away. Even though it was fun just to pedal at first, I have to build up the stamina to pedal for a long time, sometimes pedal in the rain, and prepare drinks... Gradually, going to the bicycle parking lot becomes a chore.

But, encouraged by the likes on social media and comments like "I'm rooting for you!", I pedal the bicycle again. Next, I aim for 15km—.

The 4-panel comics are the same. At first, there were few characters, so I could draw them relatively smoothly. 10 episodes, 50 episodes, 100 episodes, 200 episodes... and the current latest episode is 288. Sometimes work and private life get busy, and there are Wednesdays when I think, "I want to take a break this week."

The reason I manage to continue the 4-panel comics is undoubtedly thanks to my readers.

Even though I half-felt anxious, thinking 'it wouldn't be strange if I had zero likes,' I have had at least one like for every episode. It is truly a miracle, and I am so grateful.

Of course, even if I had zero likes or was criticized, I would not stop the series. The determination at my core—'I thought of it, so I will draw it'—will not disappear.

However, it sometimes feels like it might vanish. It is easy to lose that drive on days when I am tired from work and think, 'Maybe I'll take a break from the 4-panel comic today,' or when thinking of the storyboard feels like a chore.
(*Storyboard: A rough sketch of the composition and dialogue)

It is the readers who blow away such negativity. When I think of those who have been watching for many years, I cannot stop the series so easily. When I picture one of my readers, my engine starts, and my hands move naturally.

Among the readers I picture, there are some who have passed away. There was one person who gave a like to every single episode from the very first one, and I could never forget them. There were days when I would ponder, 'What if I had been serializing daily instead of weekly...'

And there are other moments when the engine starts. Many of them.

When I see people struggling with the desire to 'create a wonderful work,' 'win the championship,' or 'make adjustments until the very last minute' in manga, movies, music, comedy, sports, and so on. When I encounter their work. That is when my engine starts, too. Fortunately, I am simple-minded, so I think, 'Well then, I'll do my best too.'

In particular, I am encouraged by people older than myself. I am 38 years old. There are people in their 40s, 50s, and even older generations who are still struggling.

My engine rumbles to life with the thought, 'This is no time for a 38-year-old to be moping around,' gains more momentum with the realization that 'there is always someone better,' and then I can zoom off with a roar, thinking, 'Alright, I won't be outdone either!'

When the engine starts smoothly, a spirit of challenge is born, making me want to 'pedal my bicycle more!' or 'try riding other bicycles too!' I want to keep this virtuous cycle spinning.

When I followed my desires honestly, the number of bicycles kept increasing.

A few years ago, I started posting essays on my note, which was mainly for 4-panel comics. Diaries and lyrics (which are like poems) were added, and since 2021, I have been posting short stories every Monday.

I increased the types of bicycles, pedaled them, and little by little, the distance grew longer.

That is all thanks to my readers and the people who are struggling with something. My engine roars to life almost every day, and I continue to do what I 'want to do' in a humble and steady way.

In my 20s, when I had both the stamina and the time, I started my own engine and moved forward on sheer momentum. I decided, 'I'm going to pedal toward that goal!' and raced all the way to the finish line.

However, in my 30s, things didn't work that way anymore. The things I had to think about—work, the future, marriage, my parents—increased significantly. There are days when I can't even start the engine. Eventually, I realized, 'It seems I can't move forward on momentum alone.'

Yes, I finally realized it. I am good at the part where I buy the bicycle. But gradually pedaling and aiming for a goal becomes increasingly tedious. Sometimes, I don't even set a goal and just buy a bicycle for the time being.

Athletes aiming for gold medals at the Olympics, comedians challenging themselves in contests, shopkeepers working for their local communities, directors who have made soul-stirring films, and musicians who are continuing to make music as if their lives depend on it.

By encountering various people every day, I think, 'What is my goal?' and sometimes my engine suddenly starts, and I, too, create something. It might not be a virtuous cycle yet, but I think it's not bad to move forward little by little like that.

There are many types of bicycles: city bikes, folding bikes, electric-assist bikes, mountain bikes. The one I am riding now might be a bicycle with training wheels, or perhaps I am just collecting more and more tricycles.

If someone's engine starts because of my four-panel comics, essays, or novels, there would be nothing more honorable than that. If someone learns about me desperately riding my bicycle and it becomes a catalyst for them to pedal their own, that would truly, truly be a miracle.

A tricycle is fine, too. As long as you are moving forward, even a little bit at a time is fine. This year, next year, 10 years from now, and 20 years from now, I want to keep starting my engine and creating something while encountering many struggles.