The Innocent Remarks of People Who Are Somehow Disliked

It was a little while ago.
I received a message like this in a small letter from someone.

Thank you for the letter with the cute handwriting
and the heartwarming illustration.

The moment I read this,
an indescribable feeling welled up inside me.

Cute handwriting...

What does that mean?

She was a younger woman
I had worked with briefly.
She was someone who wrote with such masterful penmanship
that it made me wonder if she was taking a penmanship course through U-CAN or something.

That said, it's not as if my own handwriting is bad.
I, too, am complimented by others on my handwriting.
Though it's not described as masterful penmanship.

Very easy to read,
beautiful characters,
well-balanced.

I am often told things like this.
Well, I do think it's easy to read.
Because I write while considering the balance.

What bothered me was the word "cute."

For example, when my son brought his girlfriend home for the first time.
I had intended to accept whoever she was, but
she was so much of a 'gyaru' that, honestly, I was a bit bewildered.
While being careful not to let it show on my face,
the words that unintentionally came out were...

"What a cute girl."

Or, perhaps in a situation like this.
They might not be cute by any stretch of the imagination,
but they have a certain charm.
They really cannot be called cute.
In such moments, what comes out in an attempt to lighten the mood is...

"How adorable."

I think "cute" is close to an absolute evaluation within oneself.
For example, it is a word that expresses your own tastes or preferences,
along with your emotions,
like when you reflexively say,
"Oh my god! So cute! ❤️"

That is precisely why "cute" is considered a compliment.

On the other hand, "adorable" is—
and this is just my personal feeling—
it feels like saying,
"I don't think so myself, but
I suppose it falls under the 'cute' category," or
"I guess it generally fits the definition of 'cute'?"
It feels like taking a step back.

I don't think so (Abareru-kun)

I feel a kind of firm resolve in it, or
I feel a sort of thorn in that sentence,
and I haven't been able to reply to the message I received.

In short, it didn't make me happy.

Of course, I wouldn't know the true intention without asking the person themselves,
and even if I were to dig deep and ask,
there is a high possibility they would just think, 'What is this person talking about?'

But, it still bothered me.

Cute

Would you really use that word for someone you don't know that well?
Am I overthinking it?

I mean, would you go out of your way to write something evaluative about someone's handwriting?
If it had some notable characteristic, like 'you have beautiful penmanship,' that would be one thing, but that wasn't the only topic of conversation.
Is it really necessary to go out of your way to say, 'your handwriting is cute'?
What is this?

Am I overthinking it?

I felt like I was being wrapped up in something that felt soft and fluffy at first glance, like 'cute,'
and that my very self was being bound tightly,
as if I were being dominated by some invisible power balance.
That's the kind of sensation I had.

Am I overthinking it?

I couldn't reply for a while
and just froze,
but I sorted through the information and decided to treat it as a 'compliment'
and chose not to let it bother me.

I decided to just label them as 'the kind of person who gives compliments like that' and move on.

I don't know the truth of the matter at all,
but people like this do exist.
They think they are giving a compliment,
but it is received with an entirely different intention.

As adults, we almost never align our intentions,
so without any opportunity to explain ourselves,
it becomes a pattern where we are misunderstood and people drift away.

I'm not sure if I'm doing it right,
but I want to live by cherishing these kinds of uneasy feelings,
so I want to constantly update the words I use
and keep them in a state of high synchronization with my own senses
when I use them.