The Profile on the Balcony

You, slender and quiet, were always looking outside from the balcony. In the back left corner of the classroom. A soft breeze would gently sway the white curtains. I remember your profile, peeking through the gap in the curtains, sometimes looking melancholy.
When spring comes, I remember the old junior high school building. The old building where we spent our time until the second year was decided to be rebuilt in a different location due to its age of several decades and city policy. I heard about it through rumors just as I had entered my second year. Although I only had one year of memories in this building, the ordinary daily life that must have been accumulated here for decades by others before us was suddenly coming to an end. Thinking about that, I felt an indescribable loneliness.

"Hey, what are you always looking at from here?"
I ended up calling out to you. That day, you were on the balcony looking more comfortable than usual.
"Hmm? The outside, I guess."
You turned around with an expression that made me feel like I could hear the onomatopoeia for 'blank' from a manga, and I couldn't help but laugh.
"I was just wondering what you were looking at outside."
"Hmm, what am I looking at..."
I stared at your profile as you leaned your elbow on the railing and thought about it.
"Maybe the trees in the distance, or the flowers, or the people running on the school grounds... I've never really thought about it that deeply."
Your long bangs swayed softly. Since my attendance number was after yours, I had always only seen your back, so I didn't know you were the kind of person who would smile so crinkly like that.
"It's really warm today, too."
You added that, then raised both arms and stretched out as if bathing your whole body in the soft sunlight. You looked so free, like a cat lounging in a sunny spot, that I felt envious.
"...Must be nice."
I meant to whisper it to myself, but it slipped out.
"Hmm? Sorry, I didn't catch that."
"No, it's nothing!"
You stretched lightly once more and came into the classroom, then suddenly ruffled my hair.
"Well, I'm off to club activities."
You said that, hooked your school bag, and a few seconds later, you were gone. I thought that this whimsical nature of yours was also just like a cat.
The wind spilling through the gap in the window turned the calligraphy paper lined up neatly at the back of the classroom. The characters for 'hope' all swayed in unison. I can't explain it well, but this scene felt incredibly precious.

On days when club activities were off, or when I was on duty and stayed in the classroom until the end, I started going out to the balcony alone more often. Looking outside from here, I could feel nature with my whole body, and it was very comfortable. Also, I started to hear various sounds that I hadn't paid attention to before.
The junior high school I attended couldn't be called urban by any stretch of the imagination, but it wasn't quite right to call it rural either; it was in just the right kind of place. The trees surrounding the school grounds nurtured their vitality while bathing in the spring sunlight, and after the rain, they sparkled as they reflected the water droplets. It's strange that I could hear the rustling of leaves even though there was a fair distance from the second-floor balcony of the school building to the school grounds. If I listened closely, I could hear the birds in the distance. I wonder what kind of birds they were.
The voices of the track and field, tennis, soccer, softball, and baseball teams echoed across the school grounds. I could clearly hear the trumpets of the brass band, so they must have been practicing outside today.
I was in the badminton club and was always cooped up in the gym, spending almost all my time indoors except for running. Because we kept the windows and curtains closed even in midsummer so the shuttle wouldn't be affected, my days were disconnected from the outside world. By the time practice ended, it was dark outside, so I never saw the school grounds, and I didn't know that the sun and the trees changed their expressions so much every day.

When my duty was over, the thought that I had to get to club activities quickly and the feeling that I wanted to keep looking outside a little longer competed, and the latter always won by a little. The sounds of club activities from the school grounds mixed with the slightly wavering temperature and scent unique to the period from spring to the rainy season. Is this what youth is? I felt a bit sentimental.

"What are you looking at?"
"Whoa!"
I was startled and my voice went up because someone had suddenly spoken to me in the classroom where no one was supposed to be. You were looking for something near your desk.
"I just forgot something."
"Oh, I see."
Your reply of 'yeah' and the sound of papers rustling echoed strangely.
"Why are you staying this late?"
"My duty just finished. I'm on my way to club activities now."
"I see. You were on duty."
"Yeah."
The baseball uniform I saw in the classroom looked much muddier than when I watched from the balcony. Even your socks and spikes were pitch black. Come to think of it, it rained a little last night.
You seemed to have found what you were looking for, and you stood next to me while wiping the sweat from your forehead.
"It's pretty nice, right? Here."
"It is, isn't it? The sounds of the clubs, the trees, the wind..."
"You can hear all sorts of sounds."
"Yeah. I didn't know that just by stepping out onto the balcony, I could feel so much."
"Yeah, I know."
"But it might be a little lonely that I won't be able to see this view in another year."
I panicked, thinking I had suddenly said something embarrassing, but when I peeked at your profile, you still had that relaxed expression from before, and I felt a little relieved.
"We don't even have a year left."
"Yeah. I can't imagine being in the new school building as a third-year student at all."
"Yeah. But well, a lot of things will probably change in a year."
"Change?"
"The environment, the class, and stuff. Plus, we, and everyone else, will grow, right?"
"I guess so. But that's exactly why... or rather, I wish there was a place that wouldn't change."
We looked down at the school grounds in silence for a while, leaning our bodies against the balcony railing. I felt that the same sounds, the wind, and the scents from before were definitely here.
"Even if this place disappears,"
I turned to the left in response to your voice, and our eyes met.
"Then we can just find a new place. There's probably a better place than this, right? For sure!"
Your words, being so straightforward and dazzling, seemed to gently wrap around my wavering heart, and it felt a bit ticklish.
You wiped the sweat running down your cheek with the hem of your uniform, and continued while smiling with your cat-like eyes.
"Break's over. Come on, don't just stand there, let's go to club activities."
"Oh... yeah!"
We split up to quickly lock the balcony and window, then left the classroom.
"See ya."
"Yeah. See you later."
We waved at each other without either of us starting it. I went to the gym, and you went to the school grounds. I wasn't lonely even though we were heading in different directions because I knew I would see you tomorrow.
My sentimental heart from earlier had been overwritten with a somewhat cheerful feeling.


Shortly before the cherry blossoms began to bud, the new school building was completed. They said the old school building would be demolished immediately after the move to the new one was finished. Perhaps because of that, they suddenly set aside one day during spring break when the school was opened up, and we were allowed to graffiti the walls throughout the school freely.
Together with my friends, I took a few markers and went around the school building one by one. The art room, the music room, the gym, the annex, the hallways. It was fun just walking around the school building talking about how we had this happen here, or how this class was fun, but I was surprised that the walls, which should have been white, were covered with colorful letters and illustrations. My own name and my friends' names, future goals, portraits, confessions to people we liked, messages to teachers... There were so many overflowing thoughts that I was overwhelmed, and being indecisive, I didn't know where or what to write, so I ended up finishing the tour of the school building without doing anything.
"We went around in no time."
"Yeah. I suddenly feel a bit lonely. I think I'll go see the teacher. What are you going to do, Riri?"
"I have somewhere I want to go too, so is it okay if I go?"
"Got it. Then let's meet up again when we're done!"
I parted ways with my friend at the shoe lockers and headed to the second-year classroom.

The back left corner of the classroom. The white curtains that should have been swaying here until just recently had already been removed. Instead, the sky spread out outside the window like a large panoramic canvas, and before I knew it, I had stepped out onto the balcony as if drawn into that blue.
I spread my arms and stretched out wide. I took a deep breath, filling my chest. I closed my eyes and felt the scent. As expected, this place is very comfortable. However, it felt a little different from that time a year ago. I couldn't hear the sounds of club activities from the school grounds. I couldn't hear the sound of rustling leaves, the sound of the brass band, or the birds. It was a strange sensation, as if I had become a different person even though I was in the same place. It makes me a little lonely to think that as time passes, I, the environment, and what I feel might all change.

In contrast to the classroom, where messages were written so densely that there was no space left on the desks, the blackboard, and even the back wall, it seemed that no one had left a message on the balcony yet. I wiped the mud from the inside of the railing with my thumb and wrote, 'I will not forget this view,' with a sky-blue Posca marker.

The March wind, faintly carrying the scent of plum blossoms, blew through.
There was the sound of the classroom door opening with a clatter.
"What are you looking at?"

When I turned around, you with your cat eyes were smiling.