Confirming Values Part 2

I have been writing this blog for four years and I believe I have written about 270 posts. Among them, the mental organization exercise called 'Confirming Values' from a year ago is one of my most popular articles.
I decided I wanted to write Part 2.

I had forgotten the method taught to me by a friend who is a consultant certified by the Ministry of Economy, Trade and Industry, so I tried doing it in my own way.
Step 1
Prepare memo slips about the size of an A4 sheet cut into eight pieces. Within 15 seconds, write down your feelings, beliefs, mottos, high-priority intentions, and emotions.
Step 2
Bundle together the ones that are too similar, like a deck of playing cards.

Step 3
To understand even your subconscious, extract about seven (seven variations) values that you hold dear. If you are a multitasker who can do many things, I think it is fine to have more than this.
I ended up with eight slips.
Step 4
Arrange them in order of priority.

This time, my list was:
1. Confirming irreplaceable one-on-one validation.
2. New work.
3. Trust.
4. Attachment to my current life.
5. Preparation for departure.
6. Adventure.
7. Challenge.
8. Taking flight.
I don't think you would get results like this even after a one-hour session with a counselor, so I recommend this quick five-minute exercise to understand your current situation.
I will now look at the results from an objective and bird's-eye perspective.
First, I want to change my future life by going on an adventure. However, there is an attachment that prevents me from taking flight right now. What is that attachment?

One-on-one human relationships.
I found myself trying to gain mental stability by acknowledging myself, looking at the other person, and building a relationship of trust.
Reflecting on my communication skills, I was raised by a father from the early Showa era, so I was told things like women shouldn't speak up about various things, or that I shouldn't boast about my abilities.
I was told it's better to just endure without talking back.
It's not like there is a cassette tape in my brain, but it has seeped in, and I find myself becoming non-resistant. It's not that bad situations happen because I lack the power of words, but I sometimes think it would be good if I had the power to express myself and state my opinions a little more deeply. Just the other day, a meeting didn't start even 40 minutes past the promised time, and although I could have used chat, phone, or email, I waited passively and felt frustrated. I couldn't honestly tell the other person how I felt. I finished that meeting first thing the next morning. I was glad I didn't lash out with my irritation or anger.
I also kept thinking that if this were done to me again, I would be even angrier. It overlapped with something that happened four or five years ago, and when I think that the me back then also couldn't say what she wanted and just endured, I find myself caring for the painful feelings of my past self. This time, the day after, I composed my thoughts in English and then translated them into Japanese to convey them.
It's okay if you go but I want to ask you please tell about your situation.
I expressed the frustrated feelings I had the day before into words to the other person. The person already understood the situation a little, but by me releasing my thoughts, they realized what I had been thinking, including regarding the future. It was as if the magic of the words my father used to pressure me when I was a teenager had been broken, and I am still feeling relieved as I write this note. Such social skills are very important, and I felt I wanted to comfort the 'me' who couldn't express emotions like this before.
I have lived my life trying to get along with everyone without fighting, but while writing this note today, I also feel the importance of communicating things I am not satisfied with. If I were to change my life and environment and challenge myself to an adventure, I realize that being able to cherish one-on-one human relationships, and the sense of security and trust in the other person gained through that, are values that are very important in my heart right now. I acknowledge the other person, I acknowledge myself, and although I used to just end things by being satisfied with myself, it is certain that a feeling of wanting to deepen human relationships is arising.
While heightening this feeling, I made a promise to meet on Thursday with a friend I haven't been in touch with for about four years.
I can put into words the things I couldn't say because of misunderstandings and hurt, and although I am not angry at all now, I can gently convey as a past event that I felt very anxious at that time.
To cherish relationships more, I am realizing that I should speak out about things I might think I don't need to say, and not hide things I assume the other person will notice without me saying them. This is a part I am very bad at, and I usually enter my own world thinking it's fine if I can just spend time comfortably alone. I used to create a comfortable space for myself by keeping people at a distance, like hedgehogs that don't let others get close enough to prick each other, but I have started to think that perhaps the power to understand each other's presence at a moderate distance might be more restful for the heart. Since I lived in a university dormitory at 18, I felt independent in my heart early on, and I married young, and my family passed away early, so I have had to settle many things on my own. Now, why are the keywords in my values:
Validation
One-on-one
Each other is irreplaceable. The need to confirm existence and verify if we trust each other. Valuing emotional feelings.
I believe this is the process of a child's growth in a relationship with a parent, where loving, being loved, and strong bonds of trust lead to reaching higher ground. This might be a childish way of thinking.
I feel a premonition that I can grow into a place different from my past self. Like shedding skin from a frustrating situation. Like a high-speed Shinkansen that doesn't stop, but passes through stations to reach its destination.
I also realize that if I express my emotions more, I can have deeper communication and interactions with the people I want to validate each other with. It's not that I don't have facial expressions or that I am insensitive. I want to prevent small feelings of loneliness, anger, reflection, doubt, and anxiety from accumulating. I also think I need to build a human network where we can respect each other's intentions and values, share opinions, and cooperate to live our lives from now on. I took the time to write a gentle letter of encouragement, respect, and care to someone. Re-reading that letter, I feel glad that I wrote it warmly and kindly. It will be a while, but I hope to have some time with them.
Instead of unilaterally wanting to be acknowledged, I should properly engage from my side. Also, work to ensure my sincerity is conveyed to the other person. When I think I want to be acknowledged by someone, I might be getting cocky because I think I'm already working hard, but perhaps there are things I am just thinking and not conveying. This note doesn't have to be read by anyone; it's just a diary of my heart, and I think it's a note I will forget I even wrote in one, two, or three years. By picking out about eight words to understand my values, I was able to have a wonderful time. Also, my feelings toward those I am currently grateful to have in my life are changing from a child's perspective to an adult's, such as trying to understand the other person's situation. Amidst various circumstances and in my relationships with many people, I want to express my heartfelt gratitude for the passion they pour into me without being distracted. This past week in particular was a very wonderful week, a passionate week where I felt the charm of people greatly. I did my best too. I feel it was a happy and lucky month, thinking I was able to spend it in a good environment.
I would like to put down my pen with a feeling of relief.
It is also something to be grateful for that I felt that what I was looking for was in my own heart after all, and that believing is more important than searching. 3,780 characters, 10 pages of 400-character manuscript paper. It feels like the clouds have cleared up as if after 20 minutes of meditation, and the temperature of the spring in my heart has become as warm as a hot spring, a comfortable temperature that reaches both myself and others. It's not that I was doubting anything, but I realized that the cause was that I had put a lid on my heart, which prevented things from flowing well. Trust is built by being able to vent freely, and if you only endure, you cannot grow truly important relationships. This is 9 pages of 400-character manuscript paper.
Postscript
After waking up at 6 a.m., my energy power was recharged. I realized that November was very happy and lucky.