What is needed for 1-on-1s in Japan is an 'atmosphere where one can speak' rather than questioning skills

What would you like to do?

This is a question that often comes up when learning coaching.
I also use it when supporting 1-on-1s.

Having the person express the thoughts within them in their own words.
I believe this is a very important question.

However, when a boss asks a subordinate this question in a Japanese workplace,
sometimes it is difficult to get an answer back.

I have nothing in particular.
I am fine as things are now.

From a boss's perspective, you might wish they had more of their own opinions.
But do they really have no opinions?

Perhaps,
they are just choosing the safest answer for that situation.
Today, I would like to share some thoughts on 1-on-1s while considering such Japanese cultural aspects.

Coaching, which grew primarily in the West, has its own premises

Looking into it again this time, it is noted that coaching in the current management field spread in the United States in the 1950s, and systematic learning opportunities began in Japan in 1997.

Looking at a page summarizing the history of coachingit is clear that this is not a method originally born in Japanese workplaces.
*Reference: Coach A Academia 'History of Coaching'.

Coaching developed in the West
values putting one's own intentions into words.

What do I desire?
What kind of goals do I have?
What action will I take next?

And then, connecting those actions to results.

I think this way of thinking itself is very good, and it should be done.
The International Coaching Federation standards also include creating a relationship where one can speak with peace of mind and listening to things that have not yet been put into words.

In other words,
authentic coaching does not just look at questions and results.

However, there is a big difference when bringing it into 1-on-1s in the workplace.

In time spent with a professional coach outside the company,
one can talk away from work evaluations.

On the other hand, a boss listening to a subordinate in a 1-on-1
is, in many cases, the person who assigns work and is involved in evaluations.

Even with the same 'What would you like to do?',
the meaning of the question changes depending on who is asking it.

In Japanese workplaces, there are times when it is safer not to speak up

In Japanese workplaces,
there are situations where one is expected to read the room.

If I express an opinion different from my boss, will they think I'm difficult?
If I say I'm dissatisfied with my current work, will it affect my performance review?
If I talk about what I want to do, will I be seen as selfish?

Thinking this way,
it is safer to say "I'm fine" than to speak your true feelings.

This is what is known as peer pressure.

Of course, this is not to say that all Japanese people are like this.
There is also pressure to conform to those around you in Western workplaces.

However,comparative research between Japan and the United Statesreports that in Japan, the difficulty of easily changing interpersonal relationships is linked to anxiety about bad reputations and a tendency to avoid being rejected by others.
※Reference: Kusakabe, Haruno, Maeda, Yugo, & Yuki, Masaki (2024). "Where do cultural differences in rejection avoidance tendencies come from? The role of relational mobility and reputation expectations." The Japanese Journal of Social Psychology.

Even if I speak my mind to my boss today and our relationship sours,
I still have to work in the same office tomorrow.

Thinking about it that way, reading the room
is often a decision made to protect oneself.

Within that "I'm fine,"
I think there is often something left unsaid.

Improving questioning skills can sometimes make things harder for subordinates

When a subordinate won't talk, the boss studies how to ask questions.

"What do you really want to do?"
"What will you do by next time?"
"What do you think about it yourself?"

These are all questions commonly used in coaching.

But if an environment where they can speak with peace of mind hasn't been established,
the better the question, the more it can feel like they are being asked for the 'correct' answer.

Being asked a question.
Searching for an answer.
Watching the boss's expression.
Giving an answer that won't get you scolded.

With this, the more questions there are, the more painful it becomes.

When a subordinate won't talk, what you should think about
is not just "what to ask next."

"What is it that this person cannot say in this situation?"

Personally, I think considering this comes first.

1-on-1s that fit the Japanese workplace start before the questions

It's not about needing difficult techniques.

For example, try saying something like this at the beginning of a 1-on-1.

“It’s okay if you don’t have an answer today. Please tell me if there’s anything that’s been bothering you lately.”

Even just doing this
will change how your questions are perceived.

Rather than future goals,
start by listening to specific recent events.

When a subordinate is silent,
don’t rush to ask the next question.

When they do speak, don’t immediately evaluate or give advice,
but first accept it by saying, “So that’s what you were thinking.”

When it’s hard to talk with just the boss and subordinate,
there is also the option of having a third party or AI step in.

By having someone in between,
it creates an opportunity where they can say, “I didn’t bring it up myself, I just spoke because I was asked.”

Instead of relying solely on the subordinate’s courage,
create a structure first where it’s easier to speak one’s true feelings.

I think this
is especially important in Japanese workplaces.

Adapting Western styles to the language of Japanese workplaces

It’s not that I want to deny Western-style coaching.

That the answer lies within the person.
Talking about your goals in your own words.
Connecting what you’ve realized to your next actions and results.

All of these are important.

However, if you are going to bring that method into a Japanese workplace,
I don’t think it’s enough to just bring the questions.

Reading the room.
The power dynamic between boss and subordinate.
The relationships that continue even after you’ve spoken your true feelings.

I want to start by adjusting the approach to include all of that.

I don’t want to just hand over difficult terms or rigid models;
I believe something like “coaching as simple as hiragana” that anyone can do
is what suits Japanese workplaces.

Listen.
Wait.
Accept first.

Before questioning skills,
create an atmosphere where people feel, “It’s okay to speak here.”

Before adding one more question to your next 1-on-1,
please try starting with a phrase like this.

"You don't need to come up with an answer today, so
please tell me if there is anything that has been bothering you lately."

After the usual "I'm fine," another word might just come out.

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