Rather than complaining about the darkness...

A Catholic missionary program called "The Light of the Heart"

There are words I sometimes remember. They are “Rather than complaining about the darkness, go ahead and light a candle.” What I remember is the narration that played on a TV program when I was a child. I don't remember the content, but these words have stayed with me.

My childhood memory is vague, but I feel like it was a 15-minute program early on the weekend. When I looked it up, it was a “Light of the Heart” titled Catholic missionary program by the religious corporation “Catholic Good Shepherd Movement”.

It was broadcast on Nippon Television Network starting in 1966, and it seems there was also a radio program. The slogan of that program was the words mentioned earlier. By hearing them over and over, they were imprinted on my child brain. That is why they sometimes pop up.

When complaints become a collective force, they seek out targets for attack

Now that I know the source, let's think about the meaning of the words. In life, there are overwhelmingly more things that do not go as planned. At such times, complaints slip out. Like this year's intense heat, even though I know it's no use saying anything, they just come out.

Complaints are not all bad. They have a kind of venting effect. Drinking at a bar on the way home from work and saying “this and that” is also a way to vent (though I haven't seen that much lately). However, the troublesome thing is that complaints gain power when they spread.

Furthermore, when the power of complaints becomes a group, “It must be right because everyone is saying it” is born. Voices of condemnation begin to rise, saying “He is bad, it's her fault.” The dynamics of a group make someone or something that seems to be creating the complaints the target of an attack.

Resolve complaints as your own business while they are still small

When control of this power falls into dysfunction, the latter part, “go ahead and light a candle,” loses its meaning. It becomes “it's natural for someone else to light it.” In other words, what is happening becomes someone else's business, not your own.

Behind many complaints lurks a feeling of reluctance. While you put things off, small complaints grow larger and larger. Even though you know it, you are doing it to yourself. It is best to resolve complaints as your own business while they are still small.

When I get frustrated, I change my location. Just taking a deep breath there calms me down. Once I reset, I think, “If I can do it immediately, I do it immediately,” “If I can't, I ask someone else,” “If there's nothing I can do, I give up decisively.”

Become a “listener of complaints” who accepts the complaints of others

I'm not good at it, but there are people who accept the complaints of others. What I mean is, they become a “listener of complaints.” The effect is significant. It's strange, but while someone is listening to your complaints, you start to feel like it's not that big of a deal.

It's fine to dismiss complaints as trivial, but that doesn't solve anything. Telling someone to “go ahead and light a candle” can also be counterproductive. It is more important for the person to realize the cause of the complaint. If they realize it themselves, they can reset as I mentioned earlier.

It turned into a strange story from my childhood memories, but first, deal with complaints as your own business. If you can, become a listener of complaints. I think those things are important. “Rather than complaining about the darkness, go ahead and light a candle.” What a good saying.

I would be happy if you would read this as well