Bungaku Flea Kyoto. [Fierce Battle: Medication Reduction Diary ②]

A few weeks after starting the medication reduction, I was in a crisis.

Submission

That's right. I was planning to have a booth at Bungaku Flea Kyoto 10 this past January.
The medication reduction started last December.
My health was far from perfect. Still, I wanted to participate. I wanted to make a book.

With the year-end and New Year holidays in between, would the bookbinding... make it in time?
Looking back at my diary, I submitted the files on December 28th.
Since there is even a next-day shipping option, I suppose that's just how it goes.

Back then, I couldn't write novels, but I was still managing to maintain my daily life.
I even wondered if I would succeed in reducing my medication just like that.

However, and it is a big however.

Not being able to write was too painful.
People might say, is that all it is?
I think so too.
It's not a matter of life and death.
You can live without writing novels.

Even so, the fact that I 'couldn't write' had become like an obsession.

It was such an extreme experience that my memories are already hazy.
Digging through my vague recollections, I wonder if it started around then.

I can't write, I can't write,

I can't write

It was as if a swarm of locusts had taken up residence in my head, buzzing and jumping around as I repeated those words.

I'm not going to Bungaku Flea anymore.

I'm quitting novels too.

I thought that many times.
Even so, I crawled my way to submission, and after the New Year, I held my very first book in my hands.

The book, finished while I was in poor health, looked amateurish, yet it still took the form of a book.

So, I'm really going to sell this...

Without even a moment to feel deeply moved, I proceeded with the booth preparations on unsteady legs.
And then, the day arrived—

From the crack of dawn, I was agonizing over everything.
Will I actually be able to make it to the venue?
Will I be able to serve customers?
Will I be able to make it back home?

There was also the option of canceling. Of course, that would cause trouble for everyone involved.
Is it a nuisance whether I participate or not?
Would it be better if I didn't go?

Even so, I didn't want to just pack away the books I had finished.
This might be the only time I can do this, now that my physical symptoms have subsided.

I'll go.

With a heavy backpack weighing me down, I left the house.

As soon as I reached the nearest station, I took off my backpack to take a break. My shoulders were crying out in protest.

Even on the train, I put my backpack on the floor to catch my breath.
The backpack wouldn't fit in the gap between the limited express seats, and I panicked and moved away from my seat.

And then, I arrived in Kyoto.

Huh...?

I see people with suitcases here and there...

Ah! Are they here for the Literature Flea Market?

Once I got this far, I had nothing to fear.
If I follow the people with suitcases, I'll reach the venue.

After getting off at the train station and riding a bus for a while, I arrived at—

Miyako Messe!!!

People carrying luggage were gathering. I got my admission ticket and headed to the entrance to join the fray.

...Where is the entrance?

No, it'll be fine if I just follow the flow of people. I have confidence in my survival skills in situations like this.

I finished entering without incident and looked for my booth.

……Where is the booth?

Even though I arrived at the venue early, there were already people starting to set up here and there.
I calmly and silently looked at the map without panicking.

I managed to reach my booth and started setting up as well.

……Huh? Is it plain?

It doesn't look very striking. But there's no turning back now.
I just have to push forward.

What I saw after pushing forward was—

Whether it continues to [Fierce Battle: Drug Reduction Diary ③], no one knows.

　✤✤✤✤✤

I prepared for this with perfect physical condition. It's okay. I won't take them and eat them.
Click here for the Osaka Literature Flea Market web catalog ⏬️