34/50 Celebration! 300 note followers!

Wow!!
As of today, I have reached
300 followers on note!
I am so, so happy!!

First of all, a huge thank you to everyone who has been reading.

To those who leave likes and comments,
it has truly been encouraging.
Thank you.

Looking back at this post, it seems I had 246 followers as of June 10th.

“Reaching 300 followers on note”

Although I wrote that down casually,
honestly, there were many times when it was painful.

When I reread my diary, I found this written down.

6/18 (Fri)
I lost confidence in my own posts and wanted to quit.
I wish I could do things more lightly, freely, and the way I want to.
If I weren't bound by anything, what would I do?
What would I do? What would I become? How would I be?
I feel so restricted and it's exhausting.
How can I be freer? How can I be more like myself?

I think I was struggling quite a bit while writing throughout June.

There were times when I would try to measure my own worth by indicators that are immediately visible, such as the number of followers, views, and likes.

That is probably why the feeling of being“bound”by something had become so strong.
Even though I wasn't actually bound by anything...

As I wrote in this article too,
the way I was liberated from that “feeling of being bound” was,

“focusing on the changes within myself”

Once I shifted to that mindset, things became much easier.

By writing, I clarified what kind of feelings I wanted to experience.
An excerpt from my diary again.

6/25 (Fri)
What kind of feelings do you want to experience by writing?
“I want to deepen my own thinking” => Growth/Joy
“If my way of thinking and living can lead to someone's hope or peace of mind” => Joy/Gratitude
“I want to feel a connection with each individual” => Joy

I tended to focus on the numbers, but I was able to realize that my joy lies in growing in my own way of being and in being a catalyst for something positive for those who read my work.

And, it wasn't just that I wanted to increase my followers, but I learned that I have a desire to
“feel a connection with each individual.”

Over these two months, I have read many note articles.
At first, I would feel bad because I would start comparing them to my own writing, but once I realized that my desire was to“feel a connection with each individual,”reading articles became purely enjoyable.

“I want to read more of this person's writing”
“They have an interesting way of living”
“They have similar aspirations to mine and I want to support them”

There were many moments while reading articles where my heart was moved.
Being able to have those experiences is also a great treasure from these two months.

I look forward to more wonderful articles and meeting new noters in the future.

Everyone is walking their own path.
There may be confusion and worries.

But I believe that is because you have chosen your own path
and are pushing forward.

So even if you cannot feel confident,
hold your head high.

Because I believe it is something to be proud of.

There is a past version of me
who walked with head down,
dejected,
but now, and from here on out,
I intend to walk this path
that is mine alone,
with my head held high and with confidence.

Thank you so much, always.

Thank you for reading until the end!!