Parents are human beings too. That's why I dare to be selfish.

The other day, something like this happened.

My husband, my son, and I went out in the morning. We were thinking about what to do for lunch.

The moment we started talking, my husband said,
“I want ramen,”
so we decided immediately.

We decided to go to a ramen shop.

I remembered that my husband had muttered, “I want to eat ramen,” a little while ago, so this time I prioritized his opinion. By the way, my two-year-old son loves ramen. Needless to say, he was in total agreement with his dad.

However, even though we drove straight to the ramen shop, the place we were aiming for was closed for construction...

“It looks like it’s closed today... what should we do?” he said.

I remembered a newly opened udon shop not far from the ramen shop, and I suggested,
“How about udon?”

My husband agreed to that idea. Since we were planning on having fried food for dinner, we decided that light udon would be good too.

However, there was a problem here...

My son was strongly opposed.
“I want ramen! Ramen, ramen!!”

He thought it was going to be ramen, so of course he wouldn't like it if it suddenly changed. Plus, he thought it was his favorite food... I understand how he feels.

“Then, let’s decide between udon or ramen with rock-paper-scissors.”

Mom and son decided to play rock-paper-scissors. As a result, Mom won!

“Mom wins! Let’s have udon today.”

At first, my son was just stating his preference, but his emotions exploded, and he started crying loudly in the car. Faced with our son who wouldn't stop crying, my husband and I started talking.

My husband, seeing our son's state, seemed flustered and asked,
“What should we do? Should we have ramen?”

I also thought about various things. How about a family restaurant where we could eat both udon and ramen? Should we change to ramen because he won't stop crying? Hmm.

✳︎

However, as the title suggests,

Parents are human beings too.
I want to dare to be selfish.

That's what I thought.

All family members are equal.
Dad, Mom, and the children all have their own feelings. When their individual opinions differ, there are times when we have to look for a compromise or endure things.

As a parent, I certainly want to cherish my children's feelings. However, I also wish for a relationship where parents and children are equal and on the same level.

So, this time, I decided to have my own way.

Mom wants to eat udon too!
Mom worked hard at the hospital, and I want to eat udon as a reward!
(It was on the way back from an OB-GYN checkup)

As expected, my son started crying even harder.
I want to eat ramen! Waaah!

Children can express their emotions just as they are. Like this time, he appealed with tears and expressed his sadness with all his might.

So, what about adults?
Do adults have no emotions?
That's not true; adults have emotions too.
It's just that we have learned to suppress them well.
We have just learned not to show them.

Even I,
I want to eat udon!
don't cry out loud like my son, and I don't express it with all my might, but still.

My husband said,
Let's have udon this time. Since the ramen shop was closed today, let's go another time.

And I said,
You wanted to eat ramen, didn't you? I'm sorry. Let's go eat it again sometime. There's a delicious udon place, so let's try going to an udon shop.

While acknowledging my son's feelings, as I continued talking like that, he gradually began to calm down.

We arrived at the udon shop.

In the end, my son chose a curry set from the kids' menu himself, and he was in a good mood, gobbling it up.

✳︎

If my son were the type of child who struggles to express his feelings, I don't think I would push my own opinions as a parent like this. However, my son is the type who clearly asserts his own opinions. And in most cases, I have acted according to his requests until now.

That is precisely why I wondered what would happen if I prioritized Mom's request this time?

Thinking that, I dared to be selfish.

Generally speaking, it's immature.
If you care about what society thinks, it's not something to be praised.

But, as mentioned above,

Parents are human beings too. We have emotions.
I want all family members to be equal and on the same level.

So, isn't it okay for Dads and Moms to insist on being selfish too? I want to say that—even if I don't go so far as to say it 'at the top of my lungs'.

Because I'm an adult...
Because I'm a parent...

I wrote this article because I suspect there are many Dads and Moms out there who are suppressing their emotions and pushing themselves too hard.

The content is about something as trivial as
'Should we eat ramen or udon?'
but I hope that I can deliver something that brings even a little bit of relief to your heart.

Reading Riko Hoshino's article inspired me to write this episode. Thank you for putting your feelings into writing.

Of course, my child is important.
However, I am also important.

It made me realize once again that I want to think about how to face my child while also valuing my own feelings.

This article might also be relevant and helpful. If you'd like to take a look.

Thank you for reading ♩