October Part 2: Short Diary (Day 2 in Tokyo / Sound of Insects / Dehumidifier Essential / Endless Questions / Things I'll Never Do / This Kind of Taco Party / Sharpening Colored Pencils)
[Monday]
Day 2 in Tokyo started with a walk through the Mitake Valley. The weather was nice, and I felt healed by the sound of the river and the greenery of the mountains.
I never knew Tokyo had places like this.
After that, we went to a huge park called Showa Kinen Park (it's great that Tokyo has so many large parks).
Finally, we stopped by Mitaka, where my husband used to live, and had a break at a cute cafe.
I found myself thinking, 'When my friends come to visit me in Mitaka, I'll show them this place!'
Even though I don't even live in Tokyo yet.
[Tuesday]
I can hear the insects of autumn now.
At night, I love the time I spend listening to the insects while feeling the cool breeze through the open window.
It would feel so good to fall asleep here.
Maybe I'll bring my futon next time and try sleeping here.
Thinking about that, I realized I had fallen asleep on the floor.
[Wednesday]
I am very dependent on my dehumidifier.
Since the mountains are nearby, the humidity is intense, and during the rainy season, if you're not careful, everything gets moldy right away.
Today, the dehumidifier I turned on before leaving was full when I got back.
Every time I pour out the water collected in the tank, I'm surprised at how much moisture was floating in the air!
Last year, a neighbor advised me, 'You should buy a proper dehumidifier,' and I'm glad I listened.
Still, I wonder if I can use this water for something...
[Thursday]
While I was slicing carrots with a mandoline, I sliced my own finger too.
The frustration of cutting myself through carelessness, the guilt of hurting my own body, and the tension of needing to treat the wound—all sorts of emotions swirled inside me.
Looking at the carrot that stayed there as if time had stopped, I apologized to myself, 'I'm sorry,' while stopping the bleeding for a while.
Suddenly, I realized that I was the one apologizing, and I was also the one being apologized to.
Why am I apologizing, and what am I apologizing for?
...Am I apologizing to my body? Am I apologizing to myself?
Where is the 'me' that is apologizing, and where is the 'me' that is being apologized to? Is my body 'me'? Or is it not 'me'?
...In other words, what is 'me'?
I felt like I would drift off into space if I kept thinking about it, so once the bleeding stopped, I put on a hydrocolloid bandage and decided to leave this question hanging for now.
[Friday]
While waiting for the light to change at a crosswalk, I noticed the woman standing in front of me was carrying a Hello Kitty exhibition paper bag.
The 'Hello Kitty Exhibition' is currently being held at the Kyoto City Kyocera Museum of Art, and I had been a little curious about it.
What would happen if I asked, 'How was the Hello Kitty exhibition?'
I imagined doing something I would never actually do.
Would she answer with surprise, 'Oh, um, no, it was good, you know?'
Would she look at me like I'm a weirdo and walk away?
Or would she start talking naturally, like we were old friends, saying, 'Oh, this? Well, it was like this and that!'
In the end, nothing happened between us, and I just quietly followed her, the woman with the paper bag, across the crosswalk.
[Saturday]
Had a taco party at a friend's house. (The taco kind)
We made the tortillas with cake flour (they're usually made with corn flour), and used Kaldi seasoning for the taco meat and guacamole for an easy meal.
It's fun for everyone to roll their own, you can eat lots of vegetables, and this kind of taco party is great.
[Sunday]
I've been drawing with colored pencils every day lately. (I'm doing a 100-day drawing challenge.)
I've gotten used to sharpening colored pencils with a utility knife.
When the neatly sharpened tips are lined up, I feel sharp and focused.
It's a task that feels a bit tedious, but it's addictive.
Sharpen, draw, sharpen.
The process of them getting shorter little by little feels like it reflects the passage of time and my own journey, which makes me happy.
(I'm posting the progress of my 100-day challenge on Instagram and Threads, so please take a look if you'd like.)
Thank you for your hard work this week too!
Miwa
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Thank you for reading until the end,
♡