Do not look only at the winners. The answers that change your life are found within those who have lost

These are the words of Mr. Osamu Hayashi, who instructs many students as a preparatory school teacher and is also active on television programs.

We tend to focus on people who have succeeded.

Whether in sports, studies, or work, many people are interested in the stories of those who have won, succeeded, or achieved results.

Why did that person succeed?

What kind of training did they do?

What kind of mindset do they have?

Thinking about these things is very important.

However, Mr. Hayashi teaches us a slightly different perspective.

That is the idea of learning from those who have lost.

At first glance, it might sound like a somewhat harsh statement.

However, I believe that this way of thinking hides a great hint for changing your life in a better direction.

The many successes and failures that Osamu Hayashi has witnessed

After graduating from the Faculty of Law at the University of Tokyo, Osamu Hayashi once found employment at a general company.

Although it is a background that everyone would envy, his life was not always smooth sailing.

During his time as a company employee, he felt a difference from the life he had envisioned and made the decision to resign.

After that, he attempted to start a business but it did not go well, and there was a period when he carried a large amount of debt.

It is precisely because he experienced such failures that Mr. Hayashi knows the danger of looking only at success.

Currently, he instructs tens of thousands of students as a popular teacher at Toshin High School and has become a nationwide figure with the phrase, "When will you do it? Now!"

However, behind that, there were many failures and setbacks.

That is precisely why it is said that it is important to analyze not only the glamorous aspects of successful people, but also why those who failed did so.

Success can involve luck. However, failure always has a reason.

When I heard this, I felt it was very similar to the world of wrestling.

After a match ends, many athletes watch their lost matches over and over again more than their winning ones.

This is because matches you win can sometimes include elements that went well by chance.

Of course, it is the result of hard work.

However, there are times when it is just that the opponent was having an off day or your fighting style happened to mesh well with the opponent's strategy.

On the other hand, there is always a cause for a lost match.

I lacked physical strength.

My technique was insufficient.

My preparation before the match was lax.

I had not studied my opponent enough.

I lacked the determination to never give up until the very end.

There are many hints hidden there for growing next time.

During my own time as an athlete, I experienced world tournaments and becoming the best in Japan.

I have had countless victories that made me happy.

However, looking back now, I feel it was actually the matches I lost that helped me grow the most.

Immediately after losing, there were times when I was so frustrated that I did not want to accept reality.

If only I had chosen a different technique in that situation.

If only I had practiced more.

I have also thought about such "what-ifs."

However, when I faced my own weaknesses without looking away, it led to my next growth.

Admitting defeat is the first step toward becoming stronger.

However, it is not easy for people to correctly see the reasons why they lost.

When people lose, they inevitably want to protect themselves.

"The referee's call was bad."

"The opponent was just luckier."

"I wasn't feeling well."

Of course, such factors can actually have an influence.

Since sports are played by humans, you cannot always compete under perfect conditions.

However, if you blame everything on your surroundings, you lose the opportunity for personal growth.

In my own wrestling career, I have experienced countless victories, but I have also experienced equally frustrating defeats.

On big stages like national or world tournaments, a small error in judgment, a moment of hesitation, or the slightest lack of preparation determines the outcome.

When you lose, of course, it is frustrating.

The longer you have spent putting in the effort, the greater that frustration becomes.

However, the athletes who can look at it without turning away and think about,

"Why did I lose?"

"What was missing for me to win next time?"

are the ones who grow significantly by the next tournament.

Conversely, athletes who continue to look for reasons for their loss outside of themselves end up repeating the same mistakes over and over again.

This is not limited to sports.

I believe the same applies to studies, work, and human relationships.

When you get a bad test score,

if you just end it with

"The questions were difficult,"

you might end up with the same result next time.

However,

if you can look for the cause within yourself, such as

"I didn't study enough,"

"I was avoiding my weak areas,"

"My planning was poor,"

you can improve next time.

Losing is never a bad thing.

I think what is truly scary is learning nothing from a loss.

The best textbook: the negative example

In Mr. Hayashi's words, there is an expression: "There are many points to learn from as a negative example."

I believe this way of thinking is extremely important.

Since we were children, I think we are often taught to

"follow the example of successful people."

Of course, there is a great deal to learn from successful people. The efforts, ways of thinking, and lifestyle habits of top-tier athletes have many parts that can serve as a reference.

However, it is just as important to learn from those who have failed.

For example, when you see a friend who is always struggling because they put off their homework,

you might think,

I will finish mine early.

This is also a valuable lesson.

Seeing news about a traffic accident and thinking,

I will make sure to check for safety thoroughly,

is the same thing.

By observing someone else's failure, you prevent yourself from going down the same path.

This is the concept of learning from a negative example.

In fact, this is a very efficient way to learn.

Because you can learn from the experiences of others without having to experience every failure yourself.

Life has a limited amount of time.

That is why I believe that by looking not only at success stories but also at examples of failure, you can steer your own life in a better direction.

Do not believe only the words of winners

Recently, we have entered an era where we can easily hear the stories of many successful people through social media and videos.

I succeeded with this method,

My life changed when I kept doing this,

we have more opportunities to see stories like these.

Of course, there is much to learn from them.

However, to borrow the words of Mr. Hayashi, there is also danger in looking only at the winners.

This is because doing the same thing does not guarantee the same result for everyone.

Behind those who have succeeded, there are often many others who made the same attempt and failed.

That is precisely why,

not only "why they succeeded"

but also

"why they failed"

you must also have this perspective.

Do not look at things from only one direction, but look at them from various angles.

I believe that is what leads to calm judgment.

What I learned in my athletic career: "Learning from the loser"

This way of thinking is one that I have cherished throughout my own wrestling career.

I started wrestling in elementary school, and during junior high and high school, I experienced various major stages such as national and world tournaments.

Of course, the experience of becoming the best in Japan and winning medals at world tournaments has given me great confidence.

However, looking back now, it was not just the matches I won that helped me grow significantly.

In fact, I feel that it was the matches I lost that made me who I am today.

When I win, of course, I am happy.

"I'm glad I worked hard," "What I have been doing was not wrong."

I can feel that way.

However, sometimes there are invisible problems hidden within victory.

Perhaps the opponent just happened to be in poor form.

Perhaps the opponent simply didn't attack your weak points.

Even so, if you look only at the result, it is a "win".

That is precisely why people sometimes turn a blind eye to their own weaknesses.

On the other hand, the result of a loss is extremely cruel.

The moment the match ends, you are confronted with what you lacked.

Was your technique insufficient?

Was your stamina insufficient?

Was your amount of practice insufficient?

Was your judgment during the match poor?

Was your mental preparation insufficient?

Searching for the cause of a loss is never a pleasant task.

This is because you must face your own weaknesses.

However, I believe that it is precisely those painful moments that make a person stronger.

What is important when you lose is not to blame someone else.

In the world of sports, if you want to find excuses when you lose, you can find as many as you like.

"The referee's calls were bad."

"The opponent's pairing was bad."

"I wasn't feeling well."

"The environment was bad."

Of course, there are certainly factors like that as well.

I myself have experienced decisions that I could not accept.

No matter how much effort you put in, there are things in competition that you cannot control yourself.

However, if you focus only on that, your own growth will stop.

What is important is

to have the perspective of

“What was it that I could have changed?”

For example, if you became ill on the day of the match, you can review how you spent the previous day or your daily physical management.

If you did not have the stamina to last until the end, you can change your training methods.

If your techniques did not work, you can acquire new skills.

In other words, hidden within the result of a loss are many hints for winning next time.

That is why I tell my athletes, “Do not be afraid of losing.”

Of course, as long as you are competing, you need the desire to win.

An athlete who competes thinking it is okay to lose will not grow.

However, an athlete who runs away from the fact that they lost cannot grow either.

A truly strong athlete is one who can look back at themselves after a loss.

The value of defeat that I feel now that I have become a coach

Currently, I am facing students as a coach.

Unlike when I was an athlete, I do not step onto the mat myself.

However, I feel the students' victories and defeats as if they were my own.

When we win, I am truly happy.

Because I know the effort that has been put in, I can rejoice from the bottom of my heart.

On the other hand, when we lose, it is truly frustrating.

Especially when watching a match that fell just one step short,

I, as a coach, also reflect and wonder,

Could there have been a better way to practice?

Could I have offered better encouragement?

This applies not only to the athletes but also to the coaches.

You cannot grow if you only look at success.

It is within failure and defeat that the answers for moving forward are found.

That is why I want my students to value the process leading up to a result and their actions after a loss, rather than evaluating them solely on the outcome.

Everything does not end the moment you lose.

How you accept that defeat and turn it into your next action—

I believe that is where a person's true strength is revealed.

Do not follow only the stories of winners.

In this world, the stories of successful people often receive the most attention.

Olympic champions.

Business leaders who have grown their companies.

Artists who have realized their dreams.

Of course, there is much to learn from such successful people.

However, behind every successful person, there are countless failures.

Furthermore, there is much to be learned from the experiences of those who did not reach that level of success.

Why did things not go well?

Where was the wrong decision made?

What kind of preparation was lacking?

Therein lie important lessons for avoiding the same mistakes again.

It is the same when driving a car.

By studying the cases of those who have caused accidents, you can think to yourself, 'I will make sure not to act in that way.'

This applies equally to sports, studies, work, and life itself.

The experiences of the defeated provide us with a valuable map that says, 'This is how you fail.'

There are words that only those who have experienced defeat can speak.

I believe that there is no one who has never lost in their life.

Losing in sports.

Failing an exam.

Making a mistake at work.

Things not going well in relationships.

Everyone experiences defeat somewhere in their life.

However, that experience is never in vain.

Rather, those who have had painful experiences become better able to understand the pain of others.

Because you have lost, you can stand by a friend who is frustrated by their own defeat.

Because I have experienced failure, I can understand the courage of those who take on challenges.

I believe this is a valuable asset that cannot be obtained through victory alone.

Mr. Osamu Hayashi's words,

"Focus on the losers, not the winners. There is universality in the causes of defeat, and losers lose because they are destined to lose."

are by no means intended to mock those who have lost.

Rather, I interpret them to mean that there is great value that anyone can learn from the experience of losing.

In conclusion: Turning the tears of a day of defeat into the strength of the future

We put in effort because we want to win.

No one puts in effort just to lose.

That is why the day we lose is frustrating.

Sometimes it even brings us to tears.

"I don't want to do this anymore."

You might even feel that way.

However, feeling that frustration is proof that you were serious.

It is an emotion that can only be experienced by those who have truly challenged themselves.

What matters is how you act the day after you lose.

Will you turn a blind eye to the cause of your defeat?

Or will you stand up once more and take action to change yourself?

That small difference will become a major difference in a few years' time.

I want to continue to be a person who learns not only from the experience of winning, but also from the experience of losing.

Furthermore, I want the students I mentor to value what they learn from their experiences, rather than just being swayed by wins and losses.

Victory gives you confidence.

However, defeat gives you the challenges you need to grow.

When you look at life in the long term, I believe both are essential experiences that help you grow.

Thank you very much for reading until the end.

If this article left an impression on you or resonated with you, I would be happy if you could 'like' or 'share' it.

If you feel like you want to 'learn more deeply' or 'understand the roots of this way of thinking,' I recommend the membership 'The Emperor'.

In our members-only articles, I share the 'real inner workings' of Taro Umebayashi's mind without reservation.

▶︎Join the membership

Also, if you have any thoughts or realizations, please feel free to leave a comment.

Your words are an encouragement for my future article writing.

Thank you for your continued support. 🙇