On the possibility of fighting because you cannot see that the other person has no hostility

When having a conversation,
if you listen to the other person based on dualism,
you listen from the perspective of,
Is this person an enemy? Or are they an ally?
consistencyconstantly checking for
any liesverifyingand
only accepting information that you feel is trueonlyand if they

affirmwhat you are saying,you feel at ease,and if they
denyit,you feel anxious...

It is just so busy.

I realized that.

Even though we are having a conversation,
theessenceof the talkis relatively unimportant,
and it is about how much the other person will accommodate
what I cannot compromise on.

So,

conversations that measure love

are very tiring, I thought.

And then, it hit me.
Isn't this [ideology]?

For example, the other person might just be enjoyinga situation where both of us are freely
saying whatever we want,
and they might be trying to
expand the way they enjoy itby intentionally offering a 'counterargument,' but
if I am obsessed with
[proving that I am right],what happens...?

The sensor inside me reacts with a beep,

and it detects an

"enemy."
Anomaly detected!
Anomaly detected!
This person does not agree with me.

[Therefore, they are an enemy].
And... what happens at times like that?

Even though neither of them is 'bad,'
I thought that perhaps it results in
both of them getting hurt and feeling sad because of each other's reactions.

The other person only tried to offer a counterargument because they thought,"Let's expand the way we enjoy this,"
but

I took that as,"My opinion was denied,"
and

I
misunderstoodthat "the fact that they do not agree with my opinion meansthis person
does not understand me,"and further,"the fact that they do not understand me might mean
they do not actually

love me,"and then
my anxiety runs wild...

A tragic heroineis born.

On the other hand,
as for what is going on in the other person's heart...
When you try to expand the fun...

The other person becomes sad, the relationship becomes
awkward, you feel
bewildered, and although you try asking the other person, you feel a certain
aloofness
...

Even though it was so much fun until just a moment ago...
Because you don't know why, you become
confused and
even you start to feel sad, and I thought that such a thing might happen.

And if what is common to both parties is the
"I wish I hadn't spoken"
type of regret

I thought that perhaps you both might gradually
become afraid of talking to each other.

So, thinking about what perspective to adopt, I thought,
The other person has their own way of thinking.
Even if it is something I cannot understand, if it is the "form" of someone I love dearly, let's try to acknowledge it by saying, "

that is your opinion."

But that does not
lead to changing my own opinion, nor is it something that

demands that the other person understands everything.

In short,

We both have our own arguments, but that has nothing to do with our love, right?

When I thought that, I felt incredibly relieved and
conversations became fun.

And so, as I deepened the conversation, I realized that those
differences in perspective have the potential to create
misunderstandings, so I summarized it.

Thank you for reading until the end.🙇💕